Holding On and Letting Go

Had Enough

„I am transforming into Leo with all these sulkings and dwellings and staying rather quiet than to talk about my problems. I'm gonna transform into a Leo-clone if I continue like this.” - ran through Neymar's mind this ridiculous thought, which wasn't actually that ridiculous as it seems when you first hear it. He was indeed changing, sometimes on purpose and sometimes not, but it wasn't bad for him, he was just getting more mature, or at least that's what it seemed. And despite everything, he still considered Leo as his idol, so beggining to be similar to him wasn't something that saddened him.

When they finally arrived at Camp Nou where they all left their cars, everybody agreed on going somewhere to celebrate. Everybody, except Leo, who told them that he is tired and he wants to go home.

Neymar wasn't in the mood of celebrating either but he wanted to go so he could spend more time with Leo, so when Leo rejected the invitation Neymar relievedly did so too, and he was ready to go home, take a shamefully long bath and stare at the ceiling until he falls asleep.

So when Leo walked away from the group, he apologized and said he had a headache and he wanted to go home. The others didn't want to accept his decision and they wanted him to change his mind, but Neymar could be very stubborn sometimes and usually if he wanted something he got it, just like this time he didn't want to go with them and it didn't matter how hard the others were trying to convince him he should go, he didn't. It wouldn't be the same without Leo anyways.

When he finally found his car, he saw that Leo was standing next to it. Neymar stopped. If he has to start a conversation with him then he's going to hurt him somehow because he doesn't know what to say.

„Hey, are you waiting for... someone?” - Neymar asked and to hide his embarrassment, he opened the trunk to put the luggages in it.

„I was waiting for you.” - Leo answered in his wasn't-that-obvious voice.

„But... how did you know I wasn't going to celebrate with the others?” - Neymar frowned confusedly.

Leo just shrugged his shoulders.

„I felt it.”

Neymar opened his mouth to say something but he didn't know what, so he closed the trunk and then... nothing happened.

It was supposed to be an awkward silence, but with Leo, silence never felt unpleasant, or at least Leo didn't feel like it and that made the other person be comfortable with the situation too.

But when Neymar turned around to face him, Leo finally broke the silence.

„See? I told you that everyone can make mistakes. And I made huge mistake today. I just realized what you felt after... after you missed that penalty.” - he was forcing himself not to start crying but at the same time he felt relieved now that he could talk about it with someone. And he knew that Neymar would always listen to everything he says.

Neymar hardly swallowed. He didn't know what to answer him.

„But-..” - Leo continued - „I think my mistake will cost us more than yours.”

„I... I think that... I don't know...” - Neymar was stuttering, because damn what was he supposed to say? He as surely not good at making people feel better, and last time he tried to make Leo feel better he ended up singing and dancing.

Leo raised his eyebrows. That was surely not the answer he expected, but he got used to Neymar being nervous around him, and somehow he found it adorable. He made a step toward Neymar.

„What are we doing?” - he asked.

„What do you mean? - Neymar asked back, and he really didn't know what Leo was talking about.

„Why are we pretending that it never happened?”

„What... what never happened?” - Neymar still didn't understand.

„That you kissed me.”

Neymar scowled, but his palms got sweaty and he felt dizzy.

„I did but... but you kissed me back!” - he replied.

Leo sighed. Neymar was right. He did kiss him back. People somehow always forget that part, whenever one steals a kiss from another.

„And I kissed you back.” - he made another step forward, and now they were only a few inches away from each other. „I can't pretend anymore that it didn't happen.”

„Yeah but I thought that we could be fr-...” - Neymar started but he couldn't continue because he felt Leo pressing him and pinning his hands against the car, which was kinda uncomfortable because the car's door handle was right at his butt, but Leo was kissing his neck sucking on it, leaving hickeys all over his skin, and he would not change that if there were a thousand door handles pressing against his ass.

„Leo.” - he moaned.

Leo growled against his neck and he slid his hand under Neymar's pants, squeezing his ass.

„Leo, I...” - Neymar started again, but Leo cut him off by thirstily kissing his mouth.

Neymar stood there frozen as if he needed time to process that Leo was agressively kissing him, but 6 seconds later he was already kissing him back completely desperately.

Leo loosened his grip on Neymar's left hand, which allowed Neymar to run his finger's through Leo's short hair. Leo deepened the kiss and slid his tongue over Neymar's lips in a quest for entrance. Neymar gasped and he deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue inside Leo's mouth.

The feeling when their tongues first met made Neymar completely lose his balance, if Leo wouldn't have been there holding him he would surely have fallen on the ground,

Leo finally broke the kiss for a moment, just to breathe, but then he kissed Neymar again longing for more and more of him.

That was the first time Neymar realized how freaking good Leo tasted, a sweetness that couldn't be compared to anything, and he was already addicted to that heavenly taste that made him feel like there was nothing on this world except him and Leo.

Leo gentled the kiss and sipped at his mouth for one last time, and with a few more brushes of his lips against Neymar's, he ended it.

Their eyes came open and they both were gasping, trying to normalize their breathing again.

Leo looked deep into Neymar's eyes, and his lips twitched into a content smile.

„Good night.” - he said, and he left Neymar standing there, being completely breathless, holding onto the car's door handle trying to find some support.

There is no way everything could go back to normal again.