Orphic Love

Chapter 16

Bumuntong hininga ako at tinuloy na lang ang pag-aayos ng pinagkainan namin. Carrying all of it, I stood up and went to the stall where we bought our lunch para isaoli ang mga 'yon.

It didn't took me long enough to realize why I was so guilty. And now that Mary pointed it out to me, mas lalo kong napagtanto na, iyon nga siguro ang dahilan kung bakit nagu-guilty ako sa ginawa. Cuz at the back of my mind, I did not believe what Rebecca told me about Aedion. I couldn't believe it.

Maybe it's because my family has always been in that situation, where a lot of people make up stories about us to make us look bad. Na iyon din ang mas madalas paniwalaan ng marami kaya marami ngayon ang may galit sa amin. They choose to believe those lies as soon as they heard about it. They didn't even try to confirm if it's true or not.

Is it pride or my bruised ego that led me to be like them in some way? I'm not sure. Maybe, both.

Tinatak ko na sa sarili ko na nagkukunwari lang ako, na sinasabi ko lang na gusto ko siya dahil gusto kong magkaroon ng mga kaibigan. Mas lalo ko 'yong siniksik sa isip ko tuwing harap-harapan niyang pinagmamayabang sa akin iyon. O baka nasaktan lang talaga ang ego ko dahil nararamdaman ko na parang ako ang mas nage-effort kaysa sa kaniya samantalang siya ang nanliligaw.

Oh, you really are a Falcutila, Yuri. Why can't you just admit that you choose to let your bitter feelings rule you because you were jealous of Octavia?

I let out a deep sigh. But then, how can I not be? She calls him almost every day! She's also close to his family, surely, she knows a lot of things about him than I do. I mean, sure, they're friends for I don't know how long, but shouldn't I get to know him a lot more since I'm the one who's being courted and his potential girlfriend?

I shut my eyes and shook my head. Here I go again. I should just think on how to confront him about it and to apologize as well.

Bumagsak ang balikat ko. Nag-iisip pa lang ng paraan para makausap si Aedion ay parang bumabaliktad na ang sikmura ko sa nerbiyos. I should've done this first! Damn it!

It wasn't easy. Not just because I was too nervous to talk to him after what I've done. Mas lalo akong napanghinaan ng loob tuwing magkikita kami at hindi niya ako pinapansin.

Mag-isa ulit ako tuwing lunch break simula nang araw na 'yon. Gaya ng dati, nagalit na naman sa akin si Rebecca. Of course, Erza and Mary sided to her like always. Somehow, I don't feel sad about it. Mas mabuti na rin ito, kaysa araw-araw niya akong tanungin tungkol kay Aedion at tuwing sasagutin ko siya ng hindi ay magagalit na naman siya sa 'kin. At least now, I won't feel bad for lying to her.

I was in the middle of finishing my lunch when I heard a familiar voice not too far from where I was, making me froze.

"Uy, si Falcutila, oh!"

Unti-unti akong lumingon. Lance grinned at me. My heart jumped inside my ribcage when I saw who he was with. Looking all snobbish and serious, Aedion's eyes bore into me.

Nanuyo ang lalamunan ko. I probably look constipated right now, for I feel so nervous. I could even feel my hands trembling. Nangapa ako nang maaaring sabihin, ngunit 'di ako makapagsalita sa kaba.

"Hi, Yuri!" bati ni Lance.

My lips were trembling as I tried to smile at him.

"H-Hi..." my voice was almost inaudible.

Before I could look back to Aedion, he already walked pass by me like nothing. Para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig sa kaniyang ginawa.

Nguli akong natigilan dahil sa magkahalong kahihiyan at sakit. Kasabay no'n ay ang mumunting bulungan ng iilang nakasaksi sa nangyari.