Choices

I Love You

Cold.

She was so cold. She was freezing. She couldn't feel her body and it was so cold it felt like burning.

Water.

There was water around her. It felt like it was trying to drag her under but she couldn't trust her senses. She wasn't sure what she could actually trust, not even her own mind was safe, drifting away, destroyed by cruel laughter.

Dying.

She was dying. She was dying. She was dying.

Ginny woke up in cold sweat, struggling to steady her breath and trying to focus hard on the fact that she was alive, still alive.

Muffling a sob she looked to her right, Harry was sprawled in the bed with one little hand holding onto her pillow while the other kept close to Draco's sleeve, one of his legs sticking out of the covers. Ginny quickly covered him again, her body still trembling.

She tried looking at Draco, but in the dark his pallor made him look awfully like a ghost and her body retched stopping just short of actually vomiting, leaving just the awful feeling of something stuck in her throat, the fear of their deaths suffocating her, she had to get out of the room.

She paced the living room, unable to stop herself from crying she focused on breathing and thought to herself.

I am alive. They are alive. We are alive. We are alive. We are alive...

Her legs gave away and she sat in front of the Christmas tree.

She had been so happy when she saw it, Ginny hated that her nightmares had to ruin that for her, why did it have to return now?

Her nightmares had been almost constant the summer after the diary, they got better with time but never really went away, a constant presence she learned to deal with, she wasn't sure why this one hit so hard all of the sudden.

Ginny remembered that her mother's boggart had been the death of her family, was that why her nightmares had returned with such a force? Was she scared of losing her family? But they were safe now.

It won't stay that way forever.

The terrible voice in her mind whispered leaving her no choice but to think about it.

She knew Voldemort was not gone forever, she knew exactly when he'd return really, she knew they'd be put on the line through the years to come, but couldn't she enjoy their time and the family they created?

I am alive. They are alive. We are alive.

She repeated, trying to calm herself when she heard the door open.

With the light of the tree shining over him, Draco seemed less of a ghost and it made Ginny want to run and hug him, feel his warmth, and be sure he was still alive.

"I woke you up? Sorry," she asked standing up and drying her tears.

"You didn't come back," he said, getting closer to her.

Ginny avoided his eyes, she still felt like bursting into tears and she hated how weak she felt, especially lately after Halloween, she had never wanted to feel this weak again.

"You're a mess did you know that Weasley?"

Ginny was about to reply shocked and offended, when she finally looked at him she realized he was teasing her so that she wouldn't turn away. Stupid, Slytherin.

"That was so underhanded" she pouted, making him laugh.

Draco smiled, taking her hand he pulled her close, hugging her. He loved just holding her like that, not minding being used to make her feel better.