~ In Case Forever Ends Tomorrow ~ A Good Omens Fanfic

13 - If I had known

~ Aziraphale's Perspective ~

Crowley had only left the bookshop to water and yell at his plants. He had spent three nights with Aziraphale, and the angel couldn't say he minded. He rather enjoyed the demon's presence, much more than he had ever anticipated. In fact, Aziraphale liked it better when Crowley stayed with him. It allowed him to sleep at night, even if only for a few hours. The angel felt much safer with the demon lying next to him, and the two were almost inseparable. Crowley and Aziraphale had been working day and night to find a solution to the banished demons and souls.

"Crowley." Aziraphale said to the demon, who was perched on the armrest of the nearby chair. The small sofa was burgundy, and Crowley was somehow balancing on just the armrest and still managing to look perfectly comfortable.

"Hm?" Crowley made some noise of acknowledgement.

"About Hastur..."

Crowley had known Hastur for millenia. Probably just as long as he'd known Aziraphale. The angel would be damned - not literally - if Crowley truly felt no drop of remorse over Hastur. The demon had been chained up by Satan and Beelzebub themselves. Hastur had always been loyal to Beelzebub and the rest of Hell, but now... He was eternally their slave. Just as all the other lost souls of the war had become. If there was only a way to set them all free... Undo all the evil that had been done. Aziraphale knew there had to be a way. There was always a way, even if he couldn't see it yet.

"Crowley." Aziraphale said again.

Crowley finally gave a frustrated sigh.

"I've already told you, I never gave a damn about Hastur. Never will."

"Not even in the slightest of ways? Dearest, I know Hell doesn't seem to make friends down there, but you've known Hastur for many years. You cannot mean to tell me you don't care."

"Guess again." the demon snorted, "Because I didn't have any friends in Hell, Angel. Hell isn't a place you go to make friends."

"How bad was it?" Aziraphale asked softly.

"They said it would get better. They promised it would get better," the demon looked towards the sky, out the window, moving away from the angel.

"And did it?"

"No."

"Crowley, I'm sorry." the angel spoke gently, reaching for Crowley's hand, "So there was no one in Hell you cared about?"

"I'm a demon. It's impossible to love, remember?" Crowley's voice cracked at the end, and the angel desperately wished that weren't true. "The only couple of guys who were alright are all ranked higher than me."

"So you never spoke with them?"

"Nope. There were Santhanas and Asmodeous, but they're Hell's top demons now. Haven't got time for fraternizing with lowlife demons such as myself. Especially Lucifer. He was always a good angel. Used to be Her favourite, you know."

"Really? That is... What happened?"

"It wasn't my fault, I swear." Aziraphale could have sworn Crowley's voice sounded guilty, but he ignored it. It wasn't a story he would force the demon to tell.

"I don't mean to pry, my dear..."

"No, no, of course not. Lucifer is someone else now. When you Fall... Angel, something changes. We're no longer Heaven's soldiers, we're demons. Lucifer... Something broke inside of him when he Fell. Some of them even changed their names. It was like being a whole new person. Asmodeus, Santhanos... All of us."