I love you so I love you so

~ 육십구 ~

I hope you enjoy this chapter, its a teeny tiny bit emotional.

PoV: Jimin

I knock on the door and open it, peeking carefully through the little gap at first.

The first thing I see is a little human sitting at the table while resting his head on it. It's no other than Yoongi.

"Yoongi..?"

Closing the door behind me, I rush over to my boyfriend to see how he's doing.

Suddenly he raises his head and looks at me with a surprised expression. He looks worn out.

"Hey.. what are you doing here ?" He asks softly.

"That's what I'm asking you. You've been gone for over 30 minutes." I say.

"Oh crap, I'm sorry. I totally forgot about time"

".. Are you okay? You look deadly pale.."
I sit down next to him and take his hand, crossing our fingers.

Yoongi sighs and stares into the air.

"My head hurts... I'm tired."

"Really? Did you take your meds? Maybe you should go home for the rest of the day." I say worried.

"No, I can't. I'm the class teacher and I have to be present. I did take my medicine, but... I don't know" He mutters.
"Fuck, why do I have to be like this."

"What's wrong?"

"Everything is just so stressful, I can't focus on anything. My heart is beating insanely, I can't breathe properly and my chests feels tight.. I hate it. I hate myself." He replies frustrated.

"Yoongi, no don't say that... It's okay, that's nothing new for you, right? Try to endure it and if its too much then take a break." I speak as I squeeze his hand and try to encourage him.

"No, it's annoying." He hisses in anger.
"I'm..... -Things are supposed to become better. I- I got Jin, Holly, Namjoon, and even you.. I'm so glad to have you, Jimin, you made my life so much better and never stopped supporting me. But.."
His eyes get shiny and his voice quiet.

"Why do I keep relapsing? I thought today's going to be a good day, but I already lost all energy and motivation, I'm even panicking.. And lately I couldn't get much sleep either. I can't eat and I can't concentrate for shit. These up and downs are just so depressing."

As soon as I see tears rolling down his cheeks, I pull him into my arms and hold him tight and close.

"Baby come on let's not cry,, everything's going to be okay.. I'm so sorry."

The male immediately claws onto me and cries into my neck. He's shaking and I can feel his heart beat against my chest..

"Shhhh... Sorry I didn't realize your lack of sleep and appetite. I should be more by your side and seeing you in so much despair and pain is hurting me too, you know." I whisper as I caress his back.

He shakes his head.
"I'm not expecting you to be by my side all the time. I have to stand on my own feet, I don't... I don't want to be dependent on anyone."

"I know, I totally know.. But you're being too harsh on yourself. It's okay to get a little help every now and then. .. Does the therapy even work?"

"I'm a bother. Not just 'every now and then'. You are always helping me." He cries.
"And the therapy is almost over since it's just a short term therapy.. I just hate taking the meds."

Fuck, it's been a while since he was crying like this over his mental health.. It's definitely frustrating to see him relapsing.

"I understand, but-"