~ In Case Forever Ends Tomorrow ~ A Good Omens Fanfic

11 - I Promise You

But Heaven and hell forbid.

They couldn't do this. Aziraphale let go of Crowley, his heart aching as the demon clung to his jacket, tears soaking the angel's sleeve. He could have sworn Crowley had said something, but his words were too quiet to be heard. Aziraphale looked at the demon, knowing how hurt he was.

But Crowley understood. The demon knew when he was welcome, and when it was wise to stay away.

And it broke Aziraphale's heart.

"I'm sorry..." Aziraphale murmured, "I'm sorry I can't love you."

Crowley nodded slightly, more tears falling.

"As am I." the demon answered, sitting up. Aziraphale and Crowley were both standing now, gazing into each other's eyes. The demon's yellow eyes were beautiful to Aziraphale, perfect to him in every way imaginable.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" Crowley asked.

"Always."

~~~

The following day, Aziraphale did not see his best friend. He spent the entire day avoiding the war, worrying and pacing around his bookshop. Had something happened to Crowley? No, no, nothing had happened. This was about the seventh time he was telling himself this that day, and he was determined to stop thinking about it. But every time he looked towards the door, out the window and towards the street... He thought about it again. The streets that were once bustling with people were now empty, the fighting chasing out most of them. Everyone was trying to escape the war. Aziraphale, though ashamed of it, had to admit he too had thought about running away. He was certain Crowley had. The amounts of times the demon had suggested flying all the way Alpha Centauri...

The amount of times Aziraphale had declined the offer. Sometimes the angel felt bad. Sometimes he felt as though he had truly hurt his friend, even if he knew this was what had to be done. What Aziraphale wanted and what Crowley needed were one and the same. What was something else entirely was what had to be done. The only thing standing in their way would be both Heaven and Hell, all their armies and a war. The angel kept thinking back to the way he'd pushed Crowley away the previous night, and how the sobbing demon had tried to cling to him, practically begging Aziraphale not to go. In the end they knew it was what they had to do. Demons could not love, and angels were forbidden to love the enemy.

Still, the angel had seen it in Crowley's eyes. Seen the hurt. Aziraphale, regardless of what the other angels told him, believed that Crowley cared for him. Or, at least, that was what he wanted to believe. He wanted to believe that so badly, as if that might make it true. As though maybe Crowley could love him. The question just made Aziraphale think of Crowley. The angel knew he loved Crowley. He loved him more than anything... And because he did, he couldn't be with him. He would only get hurt, and it would all be his fault.

Aziraphale barely heard the phone ring because he was so lost in his thoughts. He picked it up, expecting Crowley's voice to greet him, and was baffled when a familiar female voice greeted him.

"Aziraphale." she spoke, her voice so quiet he wondered if she was hiding from someone. Aziraphale narrowed his eyes, trying to remember where he knew her voice from.

"Pardon me, Miss, but I think you may have reached the wrong number..."

"No." she said, something feeling slightly off about her voice, "I haven't forgotten about you."

"...Elidith?" he uttered her name like a curse. He straightened in his chair, standing up. Elidith had been the angel whom he'd met upon the beginning of the war. She had refused to fight, and Gabriel had tried to cast her out of Heaven, only for the dark haired angel to go herself.