End of the Day (Mystique Trilogy 1) (COMPLETED)

Chapter 33

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

tw: death

Ever since that night, I never went out that much from the office. I was shy— no, I was distancing myself from him. Nahihiya ako sa kaniya kapag naaalala ko ang mga napag-usapan namin noong gabing 'yon. I never planned on knowing that after a few weeks of seeing him again. I never planned to talk to him about our past. Pero ayos na rin sa 'kin 'yon dahil at least tapos na rin ang kung anong problema sa pagitan naming dalawa.

I wasn't that vocal about us to our friends, even if I know that Kate and Iñigo already knew that we already had our talk. And maybe, based on Yana's texts to me, I think she just figured it all out because whenever she's going to ask me about Kael when we video chat, Kate will always change the topic quickly.

It's not painful anymore, it's more like a scrape on the surface now.

Minsan, nagkakasalubungan kami sa hallway pero hindi na lang ako nagsasalita. He respects my decision so I do the same. Kate and Iñigo tried to talk to me but I never told them what exactly happened, even Darren doesn't know yet. Pinilit nila ako na sabihin sa kanila pero nagmatigas akong 'wag na lang. I know they're just concern for me but I need this to stay within me, between Kael and me. Sa aming dalawa na lang 'yon. What happened is already in history and I have no plans on getting it publicized.

I never planned to bring up the past that night but my emotions betrayed me. I always thought that I was already okay, na hindi na 'ko masasaktan sa gabing 'yon, pero palpak lagi ako kapag emosyon na ang kalaban ko. I am so weak for my emotions, and damn, I could never overpower it. Once, I swore that emotions will only be present to certain events but it's the other way around.

"You okay?" Iñigo asked me. It's Sunday and it's their day-off. Sinabi ko kay Darren na dito na lang muna ako para makapagpahinga. As much as I want to go far from here, alam kong hindi ako makakatakas sa mga susunod pang mangyayari. "Yoohoo, Ellieya Veronica C. Arellano-Juarez, baka gusto mong pansinin ang gwapo mong kaibigan na engineer dito?"

Hindi natuloy ang pagpunta ko kay Dad noong Thursday. I told him that I am going to visit him today but it's already 4:30 in the afternoon and I'm still bargaining with myself if I should go or not. Darren went to California because of a meeting with another investor. He'll be gone for days. He asked me if I want to go there with him, but I declined his offer.

My relationship with my father isn't good, I admit that. Gano'n pa rin ang pakikitungo niya sa 'kin but as he gets older, I can feel him distancing himself from me. I do not get it why he's doing that and that's the reason why I am still not sure about visiting him today. I understand if he's feeling guilty from what he did, but I feel something different, something unusual.

"Iñigo, if someone did something wrong in the past and he or she is kind of getting older and you feel like he or she creates this wide distance from you, what would you do?" I asked him.

He sipped on his juice and looked at the sky. We are here at the rooftop. Hindi ko inakalang nandito rin siya, nagpapahangin lang daw siya at medyo may gusto rin siyang kalimutan. Hindi ko gano'n kakilala si Iñigo. Wala pa 'kong alam tungkol sa pamilya niya o mismong tungkol sa kaniya. He told me stories about him but I know those were just the surfaces.

"Siguro pupuntahan ko na lang siya. Papatawarin ko. Lahat naman tayo deserve mapatawad kasi kahit anong sama ng tao, mayroon pa rin 'yang kabutihan. Say it or not, Elle, you will always love or care for him or her kahit na gaano siya kasama sa 'yo dati," he said and smiled. He tapped my shoulder twice and excused himself.

He's right, everybody deserves to be forgiven. Hindi naman ako nagalit kay Dad pero nagtampo ako sa kaniya. After all of the secrets I've learned, naramdaman ko na para bang hindi ko deserve na malaman 'yon, na parang wala akong karapatan malaman ang mga sikreto ng pamilya ko. But after all of what happened, he's still my father. Kahit na strict siya at gano'n ang pagtrato niya sa amin, kung wala siya, wala rin ako sa posisyon ko ngayon. I wouldn't be the Elle Arellano everybody knows.