ALL THE LOVE WE LEAVE BEHIND

Chapter 41

"Hey mom."
I tried to play it cool, as I shut my laptop and met her gaze. She, however, wasn't about to let this go, and her next sentence proved just that.
"What was that all about?" She calmly asked, as her eyes darkened.
"What are you talking about?" I decided to play dumb just a minute longer, hoping she'd give it up, but I should know by now that the universe never really has my side when it comes to these things.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about, Blair, so you can either make poker faces all day or come clean right now. Either way, I'm not leaving this room till you don't tell me who you were on the other line with."
She almost grinned as she said that, making me wonder why the marines wouldn't recruit her? You know how there are commanders that keep a straight face as they watch thousands of men cry - who lost their limbs in the war - only to come back and be yelled at by the chief in charge of doing that one thing wrong. Yeah... My mom was the chief in charge.

Still, I gave her the truth because I knew that she already heard everything she needed to, and so, in between cursing the thin walls of our house, under my breath, I came clean."I had an interview."
"With?" She raised her eyebrow, as my toes curled over the rug.
"With a university." I gulped down, as she gritted her teeth, making me vomit the words. "In London."
She didn't immediately react, as expected - she remained composed, like a legal attorney would, just before their case, and then she started.
"You applied to a university in London without running it by me?"
"Yes because I knew you would say no." The comment just spit itself out, as she set her palm on the table.
"I would say no Blair, but not for the reason you're thinking." She tilted her head to the side, as I opened my mouth.
"How do you know which reason I'm thinking about?"
"You think I'm not sending you to London because I don't trust you." She hinted, as my mind ticked.

"Because Dylan's there?" I rephrased what she failed to say, but instead of agreeing, her lips merely curved as if it was exactly what she wanted me to say.
"Blair, you know I don't have a problem with who you go out with, and if it's a boy like Dylan, then I'd be the first one to root for you guys getting together, because I know him, and I know his family."
Her words stung a little, making me look like a fool - not because I was wrong, but because I wasn't even capable of keeping the guy that my mother approved of.
"Well, we're not together, so it doesn't matter."I babbled, as she mouthed a sorry, which I ignored. "If it isn't that, then why won't you let me go?"
I asked, as she sighed.
"Because I won't be able to defend you there, Blair."
"What?" My eyebrows frowned, as she unraveled her concerns like a new carpet effortlessly rolling down the floor.
"London - the UK- it's a different country. It has an entirely distinct set of laws, some that clash with our country's. You go anywhere in America, and I'll happily send you, finance you, because I know that if you ever get into any legal trouble, I'll be able to help you. Not just me, but your entire family, and our friends- we're familiar with the jargon here, the rules, the system." She paused as she contemplated, before reiterating, "And I'm not saying this because I don't trust you, or I think you'll become a criminal once you step into a different country."
That line made me roll my eyeballs out of my head, but my mouth remained unhinged, as she talked on. "I'm only saying this because, even crossing the speed limit can be considered a crime. You'd be surprised at the list of things people get arrested for, and while I can't guarantee that that will never happen to you by staying in the States, I can confidently say that if it does happen, I'll be able to get you out of it. But my little girl, being arrested for anything - even the pettiest thing - in a foreign country." She sucked in her breath, as my eyes twitched.
"That is something I will be completely helpless in. Now, I'm not saying that you should never take that kind of risk, I'm only saying that I can't do that with you. You're 19 right now, Blair. Once you're 25 or 26 and can finance yourself. Then- I'd say go for it, but right now, I'm not prepared to go through something like that. Not when I know that I can't protect you."Her words caused a lump in my throat as the image of Dylan being behind bars knocked my head like a pelting stone.
In those moments, where I couldn't help him, I felt like someone had cut off my arms and legs, and perhaps that's the only reason I empathize with what she was saying. But the stubborn girl in me didn't feel like giving up that easily, not today.
"You won't have to go through something like that, mom. I've been there for almost a month, and I know the place, the people, so I'll get contacts. Even Dylan has contacts there that can help if anything ever goes South."
I pleaded, but she cut me short.
"Dylan?" She said his name in a different tone, almost like she knew something, and that's when I realized she did.
"You know, don't you?"
I scoffed as I couldn't believe that I almost fell for one of her manipulative tactics. Of course, she'd say it was because of the law, she knew what I had been through. She knew I had seen him go to jail.
"Yes I know Blair, my daughter was there so of-course I had to find out. And in any case, word spreads. Tyler's father is a lawyer too - they're not friendly, but they uphold a strong reputation - so we all know."