Not yet drowning

Their future together

As grade 12 came to and end. Vanessa worked up the courage to tell her mom she was moving out of the house. She was 18 years old, her mom knew it was coming and was find with it. She asked if she was going to film school, when she told her mother no. Her mother was smiling which only pissed off Vanessa more every time. Just like the day of her high school graduation Vanessa asked her mom if she wanted to go, thinking she want to watch one of her kids on stage getting diploma. Her brother did graduate, he just didn't to ceremony. When her mom said no, Vanessa said fine than I don't want you there I'm done trying with you. Later that week at her graduation ceremony her mom showed up with her brother which right out pissed off Vanessa more.

This news of moving out though, Vanessa for the first time knew it she would be safe happy with Ryan. Her mother kept asking are you moving in with your girlfriends and having parties like I did. You giving up on this stupid acting dream finally it made her mom happy. Vanessa hadn't giving up on acting. The plan was move in with Ryan to his family members rental till next year when she'd be 19. They would save money and move to California by than. She told her mom sorry but nope I'm moving into basement apartment with Ryan. Turned and walked out the front door with a huge smile on her face. Hearing her mom yell don't come crying to me if you end up pregnant and he leaves you. Babies where the last thing on Ryan or Vanessa's mind at all. She yelled back no problem, and thanks you didn't break me like you always hoped.

Vanessa got into her car knowing by end of the month July 1st she was moving into her apartment with Ryan. She already had gotten a full time job to help save and pay rent. Ryan started working full time for his families renovating company. They where happy, spend time working and training for racing, riding their bikes with friends.

One night Vanessa got called into work at really late hours her job was in the city Ryan lived in, she was going to work till 4am and than drive 40mins back home half asleep. Ryan's mom and dad liked her, they asked her to come in their living room and talk. She was scared anytime that kind of thing happened with her mom and brother it usually was followed with him hitting her or something. They said she was getting up to early to get to her job her normal hours where 5am-2pm. Since she was moving in with Ryan soon anyways, they told her she could live at their house for the next couple of weeks. They where more worried about her driving back and forth half asleep everyday. Vanessa wasn't used to this, she looked in shocked saying can I think about it. Her mom always was threatening to kick her out saying she hated her daily by now. Vanessa says her mom actually did mic her out once, the reason though made no sense. There was a couple kids at the track and their dad had left and not come back. The track was in the country it was 10pm and dark Vanessa drove them home. She called her would told her not to come home that she was supposed to be home by 10pm. Vanessa yelled "you wanted me to leave these kids to ride their bikes down country roads in the dark risk getting hit by cars, dad would have given them a ride home. I glad I have a heart like my father and not like you mom." Vanessa slept in her car that night. So to have someone elses parents care for her, made her cry. She explained to Ryan things he didn't know that where going on in her home. He had an idea but for her safety she felt it was smarter to tell no one. Ryan said no your moving her now pleading with her. She said give her to the weekend, so for the next couple days and nights she stayed at Ryan's house and ya they hadn't slept together just yet. She was nervous of getting hurt again she still had up walls, Ryan understood that more now.

When the weekend hit and Vanessa had it off work. Ryan and her went in his truck with boxes and his dads work van as well. They showed up at Vanessa's home her brother again was gone god knows where for days. She walked right inside her mom seeing her with boxes asking what was going on. She informed her mom she was moving in with Ryan and his parents till they could move into apartment. For some reason she didn't want to hurt her mom even with all the mean things she was currently spewing at her. She said it was cause of her job she was exhausted that a few days before she almost fell asleep driving to work at 4am. Her mom listened and agreed it was maybe for the best. Vanessa in some way wanted to have some form of a relationship with her mom. She tells me looking back she felt it was more for her dad that she wanted to repair her relationship with her mom. His famous quote he would always say to her "there is no love without forgiveness, there is no forgiveness without love." She told her mom she loved her, she kissed her dogs and once both vehicles where loaded up they left. Vanessa knew she needed sometime and space from her mom, that it might help.