Not yet drowning

The day her world ended

For Vanessa her dad was her rock, her role model. Like all little girls her dad owned her heart. Most of her good memories she has are of him.

Her dad and her would go for drives every weekend in the mornings, they'd end up at some waterfall area hiking, cliffs, lakes, forests you name it. He taught her these little things, like nature, the stars, moon, sun, and animals. They are actually the big things we need appreciate. Everyone is in such a rush even back than that their missing out on something beautiful. He taught her material things, money, fame, power, cars, houses none of that matters at all. He'd say all these things are replaceable, people loved ones family friends that can never be replaced in your heart and soul. She remembered him telling her, a written letter or card expressing your feelings means more than anything you could ever buy someone. This is something she still lives by today. He taught her the littlest act of kindness even to someone you don't know can make a world of difference to them. He showed her that when they'd go to his office in the city and he go to the coffee shop attached to the building, she remembers it clearly. Her father ordered 2 black coffees and couple donuts. Al went up to a man sitting all ragged looking on the ground it was the first time Vanessa had seen a homeless person. She watched her father give him a coffee and both donuts also $10. He would say hi and the mans response was Hi Al thanks for the morning coffee, this is your daughter your so proud of? Vanessa was shocked he knew her name. As she and her dad walked into the building she asked her dad why, he said because everyone struggles at some point or another in life we need to help each other out. He said I always tell you treat everyone how you wanted to be treated. Vanessa still remembers crying for the man on street having no home, saying it's not fair why doesn't the someone help him out. Her dad told her princess Cinder, your the most loving compassionate loyal kid out there, never ever change that about yourself ever.

Vanessa growing up loved the Saturday day trips to Toronto to her dads office. He would go in to do a few things sometimes, once he was done they would go do something in the city. Every time it was something different. She remembers one day in November in 1989. They went to his office they weren't there too long. Al her dad had a surprise for her. He knew she had a huge love of horses and show jumping. They went to the CNE grounds. They walked into what horse riders call the horse palace. It was filled of 100s of horses. She didn't know what to think, he told her he got tickets to watch a Grand prix show jumping show. She learned in that moment it was for The Royal Winter Fair. Vanessa still every chance she gets she goes to the The Royal. She loves every moment. She even has taken her kids when they where younger, they loved it than but have grown out of it. Vanessa even at 40 she still hasn't grown out of it. She still dreams of competing at The Royal in the future. She remember's the yearly Toronto Santa Claus parade in the city. It would go right down University Ave, in front of her dads office building, the one across from Queens Park. She remembers every year they go get hot chocolate at Tim Hortons in his office building, and watch either from his office or the curb outside. This is something Vanessa would do with her own kids when they where younger. She even park and watch from outside her dads Office building every year. She still goes now herself with friends or something her kids who are now older join her. She told them about the office building and how their grandfather worked in there for years. She taught and still teachers her kids all the amazing things her father taught her about the world and life.

Her dad taught her to believe in herself, never give up on her dreams. She still remembers he first horse show. She was 10, and at a new stable now. She couldn't wait for the Friday night show, her mom looked at her, saying don't get your hopes up for winning or getting a ribbon. She never knew why her mom was so against her horse back riding from day 1. She started riding at 8 years old, but it took  Vanessa 5 months of asking her mom everyday 50 times or more a day "can I take English horse back riding?" Eventually her mom caved, her dad was on board from the first moment she asked. Vanessa had a love for animals especially dogs and horses since she was a toddler. Her dad told her once, when she was around 2 years old, they used to live near the Toronto Zoo. They would go there sometimes to see the animals. Every time though when they came to the Zebras, Vanessa would laugh, smile and giggle even at them. She loved see them, she didn't know than we weren't horses but she love watching them run. Her dad told her when they start walking away from the Zebra's Vanessa would start crying hold her arms out for the Zebra's wanting to go back to see them. However now she was around horses almost daily and loved every minute. She couldn't wait to ride them she says now when she is around horses or riding and doing shows she feels like herself. She has the biggest smile, she can be herself, and even her coach now loves her, nicknamed Vanessa trouble. When her coach sees her they woman are always laughing, she helping Vanessa get back to showing. However this first show was a big deal for her going to her first show, she ended up riding two very advance horse one was Wheeler and the other was Aztec. Aztec was her favourite horse in the world, when her mom said you won't ribbon. Vanessa couldn't wait to get home and show her mom how wrong she was, not only did she get a 5th, 3rd place but she came home with 1st place as well. She walked in smiling showing her ribbons, her mom didn't smile or even be happy.