My 'first' love {18+}

Chapter 8

I thought he was different. I trusted him. I guess it's my mistake for putting my trust into a man I just met not so long ago. I had learnt my lesson. Atleast now I am in the comfort of my own home with people that I love.

I will not let what happened control me. I will try my best to move on. As my mind is thinking of all the benefits of me moving on, I was still certain this was going to break me. After all, he was my first love. Heartbreak is painful, it feels as if another part of you is ripped from your body, and thrown and spat on. It's painful. I hope no one experiences this type of pain. I can't believe he has looked me in my eyes and told me such beautiful words, knowing he was just using me as his pawn.

One thing I can't stop thinking about is why hasn't he even contacted me since then. Surely he needed to explain himself, or whatever men do when they cheat. I realise I still have school to worry about. I've been up all night, but now I have to go school. I will be very early but it'll be good for me if I leave earlier, it'll help me clear my head a little. I get ready and leave the house. On my way there my mind cannot help but reminisce what I am going through, it's painful.

I'm at school now, I decide I will just focus on the day as it goes by and try not to think about what will happen. I'm overcome with sadness and regret but education is important. I walk towards my class and there he is. Aiden. Standing right there, in front of me. I look up at him, he's still gorgeous but all I can think of is how bad I want to punch him across his face. My hands clench, trying to prevent a scene from occurring, I take a deep breath in and realise it's better to ignore him so I walk right past.

"Laila"

"Laila"

"Laila, please listen"

"Baby, I can explain"

I turn back around and say "fuck you Aiden, I trusted you and all you did was break me apart, I'll never be the same but atleast I won't be as horrible person as you, you took advantage of me".

That was it, I had to let some of that anger that was building inside me out. It felt good, I felt a bit of relief from that. He was speechless and his face went bright red. I walk past and go to class.

Class finishes, it felt like a decade. Thank god I only have one more class left of the day, I wouldn't be able to go through a whole days worth of work in this state. I leave to go to next class and my mind is filled with thoughts of realisation. I can do better than Aiden, I'm not the same innocent girl that I used to be. I will make Aiden jealous and regret what he had done to me. It's time for me to change.

The day is finally over and I rush home. I gather all my makeup and my seemingly 'slutty' clothes and throw it onto my bed. My mind pictures myself in a skimpy skirt and a full face of makeup, looking pretty. The serotonin building up inside me gave me confidence. I'm going to change for the better. I sit at my desk and attempt to follow a makeup look from YouTube. I wasn't too bad at it either, where did this magic skill come from? From using a bit of foundation and different coloured powders on my face, I looked completely different. It's as if my face had morphed into someone so beautiful. My eyes were glistening in contrast with the eyeshadow on my lids. I have never in my life felt beautiful. The most amount of makeup I'd wear is a bit of mascara on my eyelashes. I felt amazing. The makeup gave me confidence that I have been craving my entire life.

It's time to be a bad bitch now. I will show Aiden what he's missing and he will be jealous. All that anger and sadness had turned into feelings of vengeance. My eyes wanted to see Aiden's reaction to me changing. He will regret it.

I take all my makeup off, and get ready for bed. I jump into bed with excitement after a while and it felt good. In my heart I knew I was a good person, but I know that showing my vulnerability will only make the situation worse. I shut my eyes and go to sleep.

*BZZZ BZZZ*

That's my stupid alarm. Time for school once again, but today it will be different, I'll be different. I will make as many girl friends as I can and try to be more sociable. I get out of bed, and have a shower. After that I gather all my makeup and start painting my face. I wanted to go for a natural yet fierce look, something that will draw attention to my hazel green eyes. My eyeliner was a bit dodgy at first but then I got a hang of it, after taking it off around 100 times. I am ready for the day. I put on my crop top and I remember to also wear a good push up bra to emphasise my cleavage. I have been told I've got a quite plump booty, so I want to show it off. I grab a pair of grey cycling shorts and put them on with a pair of white airforces. I had bought all these clothes in hope of wearing them someday and the day had come.

I felt so confident and beautiful. I loved this feeling. I leave the house, avoiding my parents because I know they'll never let me leave like this. I packed a long jacket in my back for when I come back home. It's time for school, I walk in and I felt stares. That's a feeling I've never had before. It's as if there was a spotlight on me. After feeling invisible for years and years, today was the day I felt as if I was popular. All I wanted was Aiden's attention. I walk past everyone slowly and there he is again. Aiden doesn't notice it's me until I look up at him from the corner of my eye. He grabs me by my shoulder and pulls me towards him...