(18+) RED (Complete)

Ch. 80: All over the place

"7:30."

"Oh. So we have time for a little quickie, then?" I joked, but even if I meant it, I was mostly trying to lift the mood.

"Yeah," she said in such a disarming manner that made me regret the whole thing. So I tried to change the topic somewhat.

"Did you start on the pill?"

"Yes."

She spoke silently and seemed to be closed off for some reason. I hated it.

"So everything is good, then?"

"Yeah... Uhm. He said that we should keep using a condom until my next period just to be safe."

"Okay. So we'll do that."

I still had a bad taste in my mouth, but I wasn't sure why.

"We... As in 'most people'," she added, and I felt even more confused.

"What are you trying to say?"

"Nothing."

I caught her gaze for a brief moment, before she stared back at the floor.

"Mia? What's wrong?" I asked with a sigh, but she refused to look at me until I physically turned her head.

"What did the doctor say?"

I knew she kept something from me and it was annoying, but her dark eyes were already brimming with tears so I couldn't show it.

"No... Babe, don't cry. Just tell me what's bothering you. I saw the way you were looking at yourself in the mirror, so if you're..."

"Don't say it!" she suddenly cried out, and the first large tears rolled down her cheeks.

"But..."

"Please, Michael. I can't..."

"Okay. I won't."

I pulled her into my arms and felt confused about why she reacted that strongly. Why didn't I join her on that consultation? What did the doctor say that scared her like this. We'd discussed the topic a few times before, mostly while giggling and panting after making love, so I knew she didn't want to get pregnant right now. But did she really resent the idea that much?

"I'm not..." she finally choked out.

"Not what?" I asked, and kept stroking her back until she turned to look at me.

"Pregnant. I'm not pregnant."

"Okay. That's good," I said, slightly hesitant.

"No. You don't understand. It's not good."

"But I thought you didn't want to get pregnant yet?"

"Right now, yes. Because I want to finish my education and get a job and all that. But..."

Her bottom lip was trembling now and her voice was emotional and hoarse. So I hugged her tight again and cradled the back of her head, while she sniffled against my neck.

"Please don't leave me," she whispered.

"Leave you?"

"Please don't leave me," she repeated, sounding even more devastated.

"Why would I leave you?"

She didn't answer, so I asked again. Then I started telling her all the good reasons about why I love her, until she pushed me back and I saw the blackest sorrow eating away at her, mirrored through her eyes.

"I might never get pregnant, Michael. I might never be able to carry a child. Your child."

I felt my Adam's apple bob when I spontaneously swallowed. Then I realized that I'd been staring at her way too long without saying anything, and panicked when she turned and rushed away from me.