Certified LoverBoy|| Suna x Black Reader

6.

Y/n POV

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~loverboy 19.~

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Many people believe that the point of life is to find true happiness. But if not that it's definitely some sappy shit that has a relation to happiness. Me, well I hate that idea. For one it's solely built off of  hopes and dreams. Second, it's completely dumb since nobody knows what will actually bring you happiness. All we've done is come up with stupid "steps" to find your "happiness." But who is someone else to decide whether these steps will help you or not. No one knows when or what true happiness feels like.

And me actually I have no answer.
And that's because I see nothing wrong with riding whatever wave. I didn't ask to be here. I don't see how it was my fault how that punk ass sperm I was, was the quickest. Shit.

So if I see nothing wrong with riding the waves. Well imma ride them. They say that everything happens for a reason, so why not. Plus, currently I have no reason to try so hard to do... well anything. Fuck this happiness that y'all want me to search for. I say fuck it. Fuck Amer- wait they probably listening. Fuck happiness! Why? Because I do what I want. When I want. Whether it's convenient or not. No I don't cuz I'm Black but you get the point....

I mean Albert Camus did say "You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life."
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~loverboy 20.~

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*a week later*

I got out of bed to my surprising alarm. I hadn't remembered setting it, but maybe I did. I sat up and stared at the wall for a couple of seconds or minutes before I finally found the energy to actually get up. Immediately but slowly headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth, wash my face, pee, the basic shit. Then back to my room I went. See, there's not to much of school left, so why would I get all good looking for these folks. I'm not finna got out looking like a complete bum, I'd never. Never have I ever and never will.

I looked over my closet full of mostly men's clothing. Standing there for ten minutes my eyes switched from the shirt section to the pants. The closet had been separated, the jeans, and shorts on the left. While the shirts hung on the right. My hoodies and zip-up's where folded on the top shelf. I walked into my closet and pulled a basic oversized black shirt with white graphics, and some matching black sweat-shorts.

Going back to the bathroom I did my edges and that was it because I didn't feel like styling my braids. Plus doing my edges was enough since I don't do that too often. Gotta let them bitches grow. And of course I oiled my scalp. Can't forget that shit either.

"Yo, y/n you finna head out?" My sister Alize asked as she walked into the bathroom.

"Nah I'm just dressed and doing my edges for no reason."

"Shut the fuck up. I was just a question damn." She laid the toilet seat down and gazed at my outfit. "I thought that you weren't wearing anything that was too much."

"This isn't too much Zay, I'd sleep in this if I wanted to. Shiii, I probably have already." I began to walk out the bathroom and she followed behind me. Once I made it down the hallway where my bag and shoes were I stopped. "What the hell do you want?"