Certified LoverBoy|| Suna x Black Reader

4.

Suna POV

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~loverboy 13.~

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Carl Jung once said and I quote, "The word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness." In life you must go through many failures and wrongs to make a right. Many wrong turns to get to your correct destination. But how long must you wait to get to your destination? How long does it take to be happy once again?

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~loverboy 14.~

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I had taken my sister home after I stayed at the hospital up until three. It was true. My dad really only had to 3am to live. I'd always wondered what happened after death. Were our souls to live on? People with near deaths experiences say that it's peaceful. Even if it was that you were in pain before you died, you'd still go peacefully. But did those people exactly experience what happens when you die?

Me and my sister left out of our Uber. She went on ahead to the front door but I took a couple of seconds to thank the driver. Once I'd gotten to the door she'd moved out the way for me to unlock it. I moved letting her step in first. She took only a couple of steps— enough to allow me to get inside and lock the door. After taking her shoes off she still stood in her same spot. She'd mumbled something under her breath.

"What was that?" I asked her since the first time it was a bit muffled.

"Why didn't you come?" She asked me once more this time just a bit louder for me to hear. But to her question I had no answer. "Where were you?" I yet again didn't answer. Her shoulders we trembling. "Where were you?"

"I'm sorry."

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~loverboy 15.~

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They say it takes 75 days to break a habit.
75 days. Approximately 2.5 months.

I hate that phrase. I hate that thought.

My mom would tell me that all the time back in 7th-8th grade. I had bad habits of procrastination... still do. But back then it was worse. That phrase never did anything. It was just a new piece of knowledge to me. When I heard it, I never understood how it took "75 days to break a habit" when the habit could've been built in a span of years. In my eyes 365 days vs. 75 days didn't add up in the abstract idea of habits when being referred to.

Aside from that I've seemed to have grown a new habit. When I'm upset or had a 'bad day' I smoke. I got it from my dad. Often he'd come home use the bathroom, head to his liquor cabinet, which looks like a damn pantry, then hit outside, where he'd participate in his daily activity of drinking, smoking, and watching some bs on his phone. Even though my dad was always home, it was as if I never really felt his presence. This is because he was always outside drinking, smoking, and watching shit. Although when it did seem that my dad was around the times were great. Even talking to him when he was high was when we had some of our best times together. I just wish that my sister had put the smoke behind her so that she could've experienced our father a little more.

I wonder if I'll ever get rid of this habit.
There are times when I hope I do.

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