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I don't think most people realize how the first stages of recovery make you feel like a constant failure

If you eat

You fail

If you don't eat

You fail to

If you cut

You fail

If you don't cut

You fail to

If you can't find the courage to kill yourself

You fail

Even though you know that suicide is the ultimate form of giving up

Its like the healthy part of your brain

Wants you to get better

And the sick part of your brain

Wants you to get worse

And they both keep screaming at each other

That you're doing it all wrong

And you're standing in the middle

Torn between both sides

Feeling like you're making a mistake

With every breath you take

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