Traurig

x11

The thrill

as my blood spills

tears stopped

Eyes too dry as all of them dropped

I can feel the numbness

nothingness, really it might just be my dumbness

I was clean for so long

but it helped, how did I think it was wrong?

My inner weakness has shown

As I grow more and more alon

I'm going crazy

things going hazy, as i'm fragile as a daisy

What if I never get better?

What if my eyes just get wetter?

What if I really am stuck this way?

What if I can no longer stay stuck in this gray?

Look at me, I have failed again

I think there's something wrong with my brain

Relapsed again tonight

Begin the next day, empty like the dead

Hide the new mark from sight

Why did I even bother to get out of bed?

Struggle struggle through the day

As I waste waste away

Try to pretend I am fine

Try to give them a sign

give them a clue

A clue to know I am blue

No one thinks twice

Maybe I should make another slice

I need to stop

I need to make sure my tears don't drop

I need to get better, I need to be okay

but I don't know how to

I am awaiting my last day

Maybe recoveries key is within you

Nothing goes my way

so I wish I could slay

Myself, as I don't want to stay

soon to plan my last day

I am not okay

I don't know if it'll help, what you say

I did it again, don't care if I cut too deep

Maybe then I will fall into that endless sleep

The urge has taken over my mind

Any hope has fallen way behind

Relapse, everything is getting worse

Again this happens, everything hurts

I feel like such a failure, I want to do more

I want to go so far that to the afterlife I soar

Relapse, maybe I won't ever recover

I won't ever find myself a lover

soon to discover

what its like on the other side

with a smile I try to hide

All thats left for me

Or at least what you say is best

Is for me to be

undergo again the test

the road of trials

road of recovery, that stretches miles

they say if you don't succeed

Try try again

So I guess I can try not to bleed

Though I fear i am soon to get a pain

Leave me back on my knees

begging to please

take the sharpness back

For strength I lack

Relapse

Again

Recovery

so near

so far

I hope to trade the R's for each other

For they are twin brothers

Perhaps

sometime the rain

will end from discovery

from words I might hear

that I can recover from every scar