voicemail | b.e

thirty two

there's a bunch of stuff planned im super excited for, I hope you like this chapter.

for future reference if theres a * by the chapter title, there will be 'smut' (as I said before it may not be full blown smut but I'm not gonna leave it out? I haven't decided how detailed I'm gonna be)

edit: um.....it's detailed lol

billies pov

I'm worried about gabby.

watching her that day in the hotel room was so scary, I had no idea what was going on or what to do. it seems like whatever happened shut her down because when I came back into the room, she was mute, her eyes on the floor.

silently I cleaned up the mess off the bed, wiping my tears and holding onto her as we walked out the back of the hotel where the driver had brought the bus.

thank fuck there was no paps.

I walked her onto the back of the bus and she laid down, holding her stomach and staring at the wall, not saying anything.

I wanted to make sure no-one else but Lisa, mike and I knew so when the rest came on the bus I told them she didn't feel well and she was napping.

I stayed with her the whole time she was asleep, stroking her hair and singing quietly to myself, until she woke up.

for the past three days she's been pretty quiet, barely leaving her bed unless she's coming out to watch me perform.

Lisa and I have been bringing her food because she said she just needed a few days in bed, not wanting to really see anyone.

she's been writing a lot in her tattered notebook, filling up pages with her perfect handwriting.

Louis has been in and sat with her for a few hours while they watched drag race together, keeping each other company while harry and I went out to get snapped by the paparazzi.

I don't really know what to do in this situation so the safest thing was just to be there for her, keep her safe, make sure she's eating and drinking and not push her.

I know she feels guilty but theres nothing wrong with having a setback and I'm so proud of her for being as honest as she is.

angel explained to me that whenever this used to happen, she usually wrote a lot and hurt herself, whether it being self harm, abusing alcohol and drugs or restricting and purging.

there isn't always a trigger for her but I know she finds it difficult to pinpoint the exact issue.

I'm so fucking proud of her for staying so strong and not relapsing with anything else.

she's currently on call with he therapist in New York and Lisa is on the bus with us while I talk to her in the kitchen area, alone, about how to help her.

I will do absolutely anything for her.

Lisa and I talked about building a bigger team for her, because she's a lot more than just an 'author' now.

she needs someone to help with her social media, finances and most importantly security and guidance for when she's ready to 'come out'.

I am going to help her as much as I can but sometimes you need a little extra push from some professionals who know what the fuck they're talking about.

gabby hasn't told her dad because she doesn't want to worry him, especially because they're so far away from each other.

she's struggles with a binge eating disorder since her mum passed away and I spend some time researching it and how I can help.