Yes, Sirs (Book 1 of Desire's Den)

Chapter 148 - Callan

I'm meeting her today.

I had barely slept last night, knowing I would see her soon. My thoughts had plagued me all night, trying to find out what I should say to her—and it was a lot that needed to be said.

The second I'd gotten her text, I'd been bracing myself because this meeting could be what saved us, or broke us. I had made a decision in the early morning that might haunt me for the rest of my godawful life, but at least I would have some peace of mind knowing I did my best to right my wrongs. I was done being selfish and greedy, it was time that I put the ones I loved before myself, and I would do it, even if it would hurt like hell.

The truth was, I didn't deserve Emma, but my friends did, and I would do whatever I could to make her realize that too, even if it meant her choosing them and not me. That would be a bittersweet kind of torture, knowing the people I loved were happy without me.

Trying to distract myself from the pain I would surely experience soon enough, I went through a particularly grueling workout. I hadn't gone to my office today, knowing I wouldn't be able to get any work done in the state I was in. It was a miracle I had the energy to move, let alone train, after the sleepless nights I'd been having—the too many coffee cups I had this morning was the only thing that kept me going.

My thighs were shaking when I was done with my last set of deadlifts. I'd probably pushed myself too hard, but it was the only way to keep my thoughts away from the meeting. It was torture enough knowing what I had to do; it was worse spending time thinking about it too.

With sweat running down my chest, I placed the barbell back in its place and took off the weights. While it was my gym, I liked having everything clean and tidy for my next training session.

Just as I finished, the music from the stereo cut off as my phone rang. I hurried towards it, just in case it was Emma—even though I knew she wouldn't call.

I fucking smiled when I saw Mateo's name on the caller ID.

"Hi, you've reached the apologetic asshole who truly wishes he's been forgiven. How may I help you?" I joked, but at the same time, not really.

"Fuck you, shithead," Mateo laughed. "Yeah, I've come to my senses. You can thank our—Emma for that. She kind of gave me shit about being a hypocrite, and she was right. You guys withheld information from me, but we were doing the same to her, and if I want her to forgive me, then I should forgive you guys."

"Oh, thank god, I thought I had to send you some flowers and a card." I'd seriously considered it. Okay, maybe not flowers, but rent a suite for him at the Yankees' next game or something. I would've even added flowers. Hell, I'd thrown in some apology chocolate as well. Mateo didn't know what he was missing by forgiving me too soon.

"I'm glad you didn't. I'm sure you would've bought the ugliest flowers," he joked. "So, what's happened since I last saw you?"

"Besides being punched by Emma's friend?" I asked.

"No shit! So that was your blood I saw in the hallway? Kevin punched me too. He's got a mean right hook; I hadn't expected that. He damn near broke my nose."

I shook my head at the balls of that guy. I respected him for standing up for Emma like that, especially when it was against men twice as big as he was.

Mateo filled in on his meeting with Emma yesterday. It turned out I was the only one left, and it felt like the weight of the upcoming conversation fell heavily on my shoulders. I couldn't fuck this up; my friends' happiness and the happiness of the girl that I loved were at stake. If I had to shoulder the whole fucking world so that they would be okay, then so be it. I didn't care about myself as long as they were fine.