The news that I would be alone with Gideon tomorrow came as a shock—but a good one at that. It was a bit stressful, seeing as I didn't know him, not like I knew the other two, but it only made me more curious about him. There was something about Gideon that drew me to him. I'd never really gone for the mysterious guy before, but he made me want to get beneath his skin and get a peek of his inner thoughts.
Everyone in their right mind knew Gideon was dangerous. Still, somehow that made me feel safe—like he could protect me from anyone and anything.
We got our dinner a few minutes later, and it tasted like childhood memories. It was always bittersweet to remember my grandma; I loved her and missed her so much, it hurt. After the years, whenever I stumbled onto something that reminded me of her, the pain lessened, but it was always there. I'd come to the point that I can enjoy remembering, even as I missed her.
When we were both full, Callan got up. "Let's go downstairs," he said and stopped by the door, waiting for me.
He didn't make a move to open it as I walked up to him. Instead, he reached out, fingering the harness by the throat with longing in his eyes; it looked like a collar.
"If only this wasn't just a short-term arrangement..." he trailed off and shook his head. "We'll start the night observing others. I want you to see what we expect of you, within our contract, of course," he said, changing the subject. I had an idea of what he meant by if only, and it made me sadder than I would've liked to admit.
I felt eyes on us the second we started walking down the stairs. Callan didn't make any sort of reaction, which led me to believe he was used to being in the center of attention. I mean, how could he not? He commanded such respect just by the power he emitted, and he was one of the three most gorgeous men I've ever seen. Of course, people would look, or even gawk, whenever he was in their presence.
Though, I wasn't used to this kind of attention. Frankly, I just wanted to hide behind Callan.
They are probably wondering what he is doing with someone like me, I thought and then cringe. This was the sort of thought pattern I was trying to get out of.
Callan must've sensed my unease because he stopped as soon as we got down to the floor and turned to me. "None of these people matter, no one but Mateo, Gideon, and me. You're our submissive, and therefore we're your only concern."
There was something about his voice, so assertive and dominating, that made me listen to it—to him. I relaxed more because he'd been right; no one in this room mattered but him.
"Yes, Sir," I said, letting him know I'd heard him. He seemed pleased by my answer and led me through a door and down the hall.
"The private viewing rooms?" I guessed, remembering the last time we'd been here. My skin buzzed at the memory of both Callan and Mateo finger-fucking me while Gideon watched. The moment had been so erotic it was forever stuck in my brain.
"Yes. This time, I want you to watch closely at the couple." He paused next to another door and opened it for me. This room was similar to the other one we'd been in before. It contained the same leather sofa and a sideboard by the wall with toys on it. In front of the couch was a one-way mirror, which took up the entire wall—also similar to the other room we'd been in.
It was dark in here; if not for the light from the hallway, all I would've seen were shadows and contours.
Callan closed the door, sealing us inside the dark room. He took my hand and guided me to the couch. I sat down at his behest.
"Watching others will let you see the natural instincts the submissives have, and I want you to know that it's okay to submit not just to the guys and me, but to your instincts as well. Hesitation, among other things, is just how your brain is conditioned. Out there, in the world of vanilla, it's expected that you should react a certain way to certain things; Being ordered around is one of them," Callan explained.
"I want you to learn how to let go of everything that's keeping you back. Second-guessing, hesitation, uncertainty...they have no place here. Let yourself release the tight reins on what society deems normal, and instead live your life for you. I get that it isn't as easy as it sounds to just let go, but try to remind yourself that you'll feel freer if you do. Don't let anyone tell you how you should react."
The way he talked about submission... I'd never thought of it in that way before, but I could understand what he meant. Society really did dictate how people should act, to some degree. Having the urge to submit was taboo to talk about. Craving pain with your pleasure was taboo to talk about. Kink, in general, was taboo to talk about. I could go on and on for days, but the thing was, making it taboo also meant that we would react to those things with more apprehension than one would react to plain vanilla sex.
Like Callan had said, we were conditioned to react a certain way to things that weren't conventional. Now that I actually thought about it, the hesitation I felt before I followed through with an order was simply because a part of my brain thought that what we were doing wasn't normal—that submitting wasn't normal—and that thought had to come from somewhere.
It came from society. The conversation I'd overheard between two old ladies talking about how ungodly fifty shades of grey were. Sex education in high school where they only spoke about standard sexual practice, but not anything about what was considered kinky. The movies on television that only showed missionary sex. Everything painted a picture of how it "should" be. Growing up, I hadn't been aware of everything I learned subconsciously. Now I knew that even if it was subconscious, it still stuck with me—it was ingrained in my brain.
Callan's word shocked me into the revelation, and I hadn't noticed the lights in the other room had been turned on or that a woman was now inside it.
That room looked different than the other one I'd seen the last time we were in a viewing room. Instead of several different furniture, there were only two things; a bed and a chair placed in front of it.
"Make sure to watch, Sweetheart. Watch their dynamic. This can be you if only you let go."
YOU ARE READING
Yes, Sirs (Book 1 of Desire's Den)
Romance"You were ours from the second we saw you," he stated as if I didn't have a choice in it, and the truth was, I didn't need to because he was right. I was theirs, but what they didn't know was that they were mine too. ...
