Paradox

Chapter Twenty-Three

S L A T E R

Deny. Lie. Deny.

Three words I dedicated my life to. The moment that stupid, invasive picture of us made its rounds across school; I knew I had lie, deny or do both. Although I despised homeschooling, I at least had a sense of privacy, but here at this ironically private school; all my secrets were aired out.

Ocean's sad eyes peeking at me from behind Caleb, had an effect on me, greater than I could ever imagine, but he was right. It didn't mean anything. It had to not mean anything. I was drunk and needed to feel someone, "Let's go," Jordan encouraged me as he sensed neither of us were going to back down, "Emily's waiting for you."

The mention of her name made me immediately drift my stare to Ocean to see what he felt. He was like a book to read. Reject and sorrow, "Okay," I turned around and walked away from them- and it took everything to turn my back on him.

The blonde girl waited for me at the exit and flung her arms around my back, "Hey, I thought you left me," Without permission, she kissed me and slipped her slimy tongue into my mouth, "Are you ready to go?"

"To where?" I managed to say without rolling my eyes. It wasn't like she had ever done something to me to make me feel weird around her, but there was a disconnect, "Did I miss something?"

"Our date?" Honestly I don't remember everything that happened after Jordan called me and showed me the picture. I texted Emily and told her to come over, because my father had left. I would have probably said anything to get what I wanted in that moment and she knew it.

"Yeah, about that," I replied indifferently, "I have to go home. My father's waiting for me."

"I can come with you."

"No thank you," I couldn't understand why she was acting like her and I were in some kind of relationship. At the start of this we agreed that it wasn't anything serious, but the more time we spend together, the more I sense her growing more dependent on me. But to grow onto something, they first must be solid and I was everything except that.

I was ever grateful when Jordan silently climbed into the passenger side of my Mustang and turned on the music, "If you don't like her, leave her. Don't just play around. It's not good for either of you."

Starting up the car, I tried ignoring his voice, but he meant a lot to me and pretending that he didn't just speak to me, was wrong, "No one's being played with if they know they're in the game."

"Gosh, Slater," He sighed annoyed and turned down the volume of the music, "Do you hear yourself? Since when do you speak about people like that? As if they're objects? I know a lot of things have happened, but that's no excuse to behave like this."

Finally, it seemed that his words broke through to me and I realised how bad of a person I had recently been. It was unlike me...I think. It's just, for a while now, I had been in a constant state of paranoia. Even before my mother's investigation. Something was happening and I was the last to know, "You're right...fuck, you're right. I'll make it right."

He nodded pleased and asked if I wanted the spend the rest of the day at his house, because he sensed that the last place I wanted to be was home.

In reference to size, Jordan's house was much smaller than mine, but that was it. In all other aspects it was far greater. Their walls were covered with golden, warm sunlight and joyful laughter danced through the hallways at all hours of the day. His mother, Janice, smiled warmly at us before untying the sunflower apron around her hips, "What are you boys doing here?" The older woman gave both of us a tight hug. A bittersweet, that was mostly bitter, feeling came over me...I wish mom was here.