Paradox

Chapter Three

O C E A N:

Looking out the dirty window my mind was filled with thoughts of the homophobic guy I bumped in to in the hall way.

I kept thinking about his green optic questioning myself, why did he look so infuriated?

Was he mad at something or was he just another dick? He was very attractive, he looked kind of sad, who was he?

I wanted to know more about him, but the other part of my mind told me to stay away from that tocsin.

With light tap on my shoulder I cleansed myself from them thoughts of that fine specimen of a douche and focused my attention on Noah.

My eyes met hers. "I'm stopping at chiefs you coming with?" She asked me in an energetic tone hoping I would say yes.

I looked at her apologetically, "not tonight I'm falling behind on work."

She understandingly smiled and patted me on my head before making her away to the front of the bus before giving me a second glance and a smile I knew all too well.

scene two

After a few minutes of starring out into abyss while listening to line without a hook and crappy earphones on; the bus came to a halt snapping me back in to reality that I have to get my ass up and off the dirty bus then actually pretend that I want to go home.

I tried to avoid everyone's gaze because it makes me feel awkward and un-easy.

Just before I made way to my house I saw kind familiar eyes, "Hi Uncle Sam."

He sheepishly smiled back at me and made his way to me, stopping in front of the head entrance door. "Hey Ocean, where's Noah?"

Fuck I panicked as I tried to put up my best poker face. Awkwardly I grinned, "You know she's getting her studying on at the library."

He looked at me struggling not to let out a chuckle, "Wow wave so convincing" he mocked sarcastically, "quick question are we talking about the same Noah? Because I'm talking about the Noah that thinks there are two days in a school week. "

I could feel my cheeks burning up I stuttered trying to defend my white lie but I knew the jig was already up.

I told him she was at chiefs and quickly ended the conversation.

scene three

I opened the front door and checked around for my mom but the only thing that I saw was the old beer cans and leftover food scattered around the living room.

I sighed knowing that I have to clean her mess up yet again even though she is the parent.

Before I started cleaning I went up to my room and changed in to comfortable clothes an over-sized hoodie and grey sweats.

First I started clearing up all her thrash which made the house look ten times cleaner and made my through dishes, laundry, sweeping and soon I was surprising done considering the mess she made.

I threw myself on my bed to rejuvenate before I started working but as I dove off to sleep, a notification popped up which made my snap out the slumber I almost fell in.

I checked my phone and to my astonishment I got a message from Caleb.

Caleb- hey cruise I didn't see u at gym or the rest of the day

Caleb- where were you��

Ocean- Hi, something important came up.

Caleb- oh ok what happened����

Ocean- That is none of your business.

Caleb- lmao ok then here is the homework u missed��

Ocean- Thank you

Caleb-❤

I left him on seen and without even noticing I had small smile on my face.

scene four

From windows to doors I checked that everything was closed and that not a soul could see what was about to happen.

Going up the stairs to my small room I lock the door behind me just in case my mom came home unexpectedly.

The outfit lying on my bed, perfectly waiting for me to put up my façade. A costume hiding away what I really look like.

Some people might find what I do disgusting but I'm trying to live trying to survive and those same people who judge me watch me and pay for me to do things for them in the dark.

I put on my skimpy plaid skirt which made my waist even skinnier, a black turtle neck shirt and a black choker lastly my bjalex inspired mask.

I set up my lighting perfectly making the illumination shine on me, I turned my laptop on that I got from one of the pathetic men I use for money.

What did I do for it? Not much just degrade him, they tend to like it. I went in to the normal site I used.

www.camboy.co.za .

I answered a few messages from old purvey closet cases and received about one thousand four hundred and forty dollars.

I was quite popular on the site. But my focus was for one person in particular: Will.

Did I know if it his real name? No, but he was the best person I have ever talked to? Yes and sometimes I actually feel like I have caught feelings for this somewhat anonymous man.

I scrolled through the list of hungry men and saw his name that immediately made me smile from ear to ear.

Will- hey wave:)

Wave- hiii how have u been♡ ~♡

Will- its been shit tbh but now that you're here I'm good;)

Wave- It makes me really happy that I brighten up your

day but what happened

Will- you know the usual with my father

Wave- are you fucking serious again you need to get out of that house should we meet up? I'll try to help

Will- wave...we cant do that you know that ik you want to help but u being here is enough for me ok?♡

Wave- ok but tell me when it gets worse

Will- Wby how is the money

Wave- it's been ok not the best but I'm trying

Will- I don't want you talking to other guys just me

Will sent $5000.00 to ♡wave♡

I felt guilty, why was he sending me money? I didn't even ask but he always sends no matter how much I begged him to stop.

Without even realizing it I had spent the following five hours talking to him, forgetting about all the homework that I didn't finish.

I worried about my school work falling behind and ruining my perfect score on the reports.

I said goodnight to Will and counted up the money I made, six thousand four hundred and forty in total.

Even though I enjoy being a cam-boy, I have to do this; someone has to be the provider.

I had to step up and if that meant exposing myself. I wouldn't bat an eye.

It was late at night and I was still struggling with math when my doorbell suddenly rang ...was it my mom, she had a key what if she lost it? What if she brought another guy home?

End of Chapter