𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏'𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 | 𝑩.𝑬

-chapter 32-

*billie's pov*

It's everywhere, reposted on pratically every students profile.

How could she do this?

I thought she actually felt something for me. That everything she said and did was sincere.

And now I find out the only reason she ever talked to me in the first place was for the school to know how much of a freak I am?

I feel the tears of anger rising in me, that urge i felt just the other day with Finneas building up inside of me.

But then, I didn't have anyone particularly I could take the anger on, now there's one person that comes to mind.

With my hands balled onto tight fists, I storm into the cafeteria, instantly spotting my girlfriend.

Or now, considering the current conditions, ex.

I can't believe I let myself fall for this backstabbing bitch. I really thought she was different.

I really thought that she could be my light in this world of darkness. But I was wrong. Cause life isn't fair and nothing ever works out. I should know that by now.

A crowd of students notice my sudden appearance and back away, all whispering violently as if they know exactly what's going through my head right now.

To be honest, I don't think it's hard. I feel so exposed, like everyone now knows who I am. My diagnosis defines me.

As everyone in the cafeteria's eyes drift to me, Liliana follows their gaze, her eyes finally landing on me.

I watch in anger as she walks up to me, a mixture of confusion and concern on her face. Which I now know is fake.

"You okay Bil?" She asks, both her arms coming up to grab mine.

But I pull away, finally letting my emotion take over.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH!" I yell, pushing her straight to the ground, creating a loud roar of the cafeteria, students crowding around us in a big circle.

Liliana still looks confused, hurt and tears in her eyes. Come on, secrets out. She doesn't have to act anymore.

"B-billie I don't know what you're talking about." She stutters, that familiar, scared expression on her face again.

"STOP PRETENDING LILIANA. YOU KNOW, I REALLY TRUSTED YOU, I REALLY THOUGHT YOU WERE DIFFERENT BUT YOU'RE JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER BACKSTABBING HOE IN THIS GODDAMN SCHOOL!"

She slowly starts to back away, tears streaming down her face.

"B-billie I didn't do anything, I don't know what you're talking about."

That's it for me, I run at her, knocking her to the floor with a loud thud.

The crowd of students let out a chorus of loud 'OOH's and 'FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!"

I mean, I've always been a crowd pleaser.

So I take everything out on her, punching every inch of her skin, determined to make her black and blue.

I can't believe I really thought someone could ever like me. Like actually love and care for me. I shouldn't have been so naive.

Liliana doesn't even fight back, knowing she won't win and sobbing violently, letting out whimpers of pain.

I'm not sorry for the pain I'm causing her. I could go all day. Im that angry right now I could knock everyone in this damn cafeteria down.

"Billie, please stop." She whimpers, holding her hand up to her chest and face in pain. "It hurts."

My face stays cold, not even feeling the slightest sliver of guilt at her words.

"Good. I want to hurt you like you hurt me."

So I continue beating her up, the crowd to scared to save her, more interested in getting out their fucking phones and recording the fight.

I don't know how long it goes on for, it seems like not long enough but the teacher pulls me and her apart, Liliana being unable to stand at first due to the shock.

Why is she still acting like nothing ever happened?

Before the teacher even begins yelling at me, I angrily storm out the hall, tears rolling down my face as I do so.

I feel so strongly right now it's insane. Like none of my other episodes before.

It's that new set of emotions. Heartbreak, betrayal, just pure anger and sadness.

Its horrible.

Like someone had reached into my chest, pulled out my heart and crushed it right into dust.

I can't do this anymore.

Life.

It's too much of a chore. A chore that never gets repayed.

And I know exactly how to end it.

So I storm up to the rooftop, my emotions switching from anger to just sadness, now my turn to sob uncontrollably.

I just can't.

I don't know what it i if I can't do. Maybe it's everything.

But I just can't do it.

The cool air hits my face as I open the door, the semi-dark night sky flashing with the lights of the city and the distant sounds of cars travelling through LA.

I'm glad I chose to end it all like this. Atleast I'll die in a beautiful place, last thing I see being my home, the city I grew up in.

Blinking furiously, I slowly climb up onto the ledge, starting to second guess my decision.

No, this is what I want to do. What I need to do.

It has to end like this.