What She Needs

46. Hope Is A Dangerous Thing For A Woman Like Me To Have

I experimented with different tenses and story telling techniques in this one. Let me know what you think! 4 chapters to go!

Hope Is A Dangerous Thing For A Woman Like Me To Have- Lana del Rey

Arizona Robbins

Meredith's been having one hell of a time lately. Well....giving us hell really. I wish I could give her hell back, but that's not how this works. She's testing us- Addison mainly. She's waiting for a negative reaction that she isn't going to get. 

The other sister is having a hellish time too. I never know what to call the sisters as a collective. I can't call them Grey sisters- only one of them is a Grey after all. They aren't all Shepherd's or Montgomery's either. I'll settle for 'the sisters'. It'll do for now. The middle sister, currently occupying mine and Callie's couch has been through the wringer this week. 

First we had Meredith's ever so polite revealing of the drugs in her draw and the vomiting and breakdown the inevitably followed. Addison told me the following conversation went a little like this:

"Amy! Amy!" Addison yelled as the brunette stormed out of the on call room, heading who knows where. "We said we'd talk calmly, remember?"

"Do I look calm to you, Addison?" She snarked in reply. 

The read-headed OB lead Amelia into the courtyard of Seattle Grace with a firm guiding hand on her shoulder,  where, thankfully, there were few people, most concentrated around the food truck. The pair sat down on the wall, merely observing passers by for a while, letting the shock and emotion of Meredith's statement dissipate into the light spring breeze. 

"You know.." Amelia started in defence. "I wasn't going to take them."

"Regardless. You still had them. What drugs?"

"Oxy. The usual."

"Please don't say that as if it's your daily coffee order." Addison chastised, feeling uncomfortable with the insinuation that the young attending is using regularly again. 

"Sorry." She replied. "Unless Meredith's taken it, the baggie is still in my drawers." Amelia admitted, finally feeling calm enough to maturely discuss the issue.

"Why did you have it, baby girl?" Addison crooned towards her sister, wanting to tuck her hair behind her ears like she used to, but Amy pulled away at the pet name and display of affection while she was in such a vulnerable position. 

"Dunno."

"Come on. You do know!"

Amelia sighed. Heavily.

"i... I contacted a dealer when Meredith disappeared."

"Yes." Addison interrupted. "I remember. Arizona told me she was looking out for you that week."

"Yeah...well" the brunette continued. "I bought more than a few bags. Gave one to Arizona the night I bought them. I just felt overwhelmed, and guilty and out of control. I flushed the rest when Meredith returned. I was honestly so so glad I was sober. She needed me so much in the hospital. I was shocked by how scared she was of you and Zona."

"That doesn't explain the baggie in your drawer."

"No. Well... I may not have f-flushed all the b-baggies?" Amelia stated as a question, as if the high pitched inflection at the end of her admittance would take some of the reality and responsibility from her. 

"Oh Amelia." It's hard for Addison to work out what to say to her sister. She shouldn't have kept the drugs. She shouldn't have bought the drugs in the first place. Amelia already knows that, though. Addiction is a manipulating disease.