What She Needs

39. The Ballad Of Me And My Brain

The 1975

Republished since a lot of you couldn't see the chapter. 

Addison Montgomery

"Hey! How did it go?"

I meet Meredith after her exam. She launches herself at me when she sees me, so relieved that it's over.

"Addie! Hi!! It was.... okay actually...."

"Oh thank God! Well done kiddo!"

Cristina follows out of the room next, also beaming (smugly, in a very Cristina fashion). I've not worked with Doctor Yang much, but I'm glad to see she's happy with the test.

"Dr Yang? How was it?" She looks a little surprised to be addressed by me, but answers nevertheless.

"Oh... really good. I knew it would be easy."

I chuckle at her smugness, slowly learning to not be put off by it.

"Well I'm glad, Yang."

Izzie Stevens, another intern I've worked with a lot, surfaces from the exam room next. She looks a little meeker than the rest- there's not a shine radiating off her. Perhaps she's unsure how the exam went. She has a tendency to question herself, well in my surgeries anyway. Although I guess the best time for a crisis of confidence is after the test, not during.

Meredith sees Stevens's flushed cheeks and worried eyebrows, and excuses herself to comfort her friend.

"Dr Montgomery...." Yang is still beside me. "You're looking after her, right?" She asks.

"Who? Meredith?" I ask.

"I saw. She showed me." She sighs. "The scars are awful. She's anorexic isn't she.... that's why she took so much time off."

"Did she tell you she's anorexic?" I wonder if she's actually admittted it. That'd be a first I think.

"No. Not with her words anyway. But she knows I know. I know she knows I know."

I nod, somewhat understanding the gabble that spills from her mouth. The twisted sisters share some mannerisms after all.

"You're looking out for her though?" The curly haired intern presses.

"I've got her Yang. She's got a village. I know she hasn't told you much, but she clearly values you. My guess is that she didn't want to let you down."

"That's bull. She could never let me down."

"I know that." I agree. "Meredith hasn't been rational for most of the year. I finally feel like I'm starting to know the Meredith under the mental illness though."

I pause to stop a stream of consciousness falling out of my mouth. I need to slow the conveyer belt from brain to tongue.

"She'll tell it to you in her own time. I promise I have her. She's my baby sister."

Meredith makes her way back over in time for Cristina to reinstall her dead pan facade, as if no emotions were shared.

"Meredith! Satan's your sister now? Gross!" And with that charming comment, Cristina is gone.

Probably to find Teddy Altman and beg for an attending job.

"You're not Satan." My sister mumbles, a fat smile inhibiting her ability to speak. Cristina is good for her mood. Noted.

"I know.... ruler of all that is evil perhaps."

"That's a much better title." She winks.

The adrenaline buzz seems to wear off my intern faster than I'd like, and her mood significantly drops. It's like she's completely lost her mind. Taken her brain out and dropped it off in a parking lot for a bit, while she goes about the ER with me. I knew she'd dip after the anxiety of this morning, but I didn't expect her to plummet so low, so fast. I'm concerned, and probably showing it.