Rogues Wolf End~(McKayla Series Book 2)

Chapter 13~Difficult Choices

    Mckayla ran her fingers through her unkempt hair, grimacing a moment. I saw the pain of her memory beginning to antagonize her thoughts as her breathing changed to a sudden rapid speed. "I was scared. That was the deepest emotion I remember feeling. Not of dying; though my father seemed close to doing that. But...I was scared that you never would feel the same as I did for you. I was scared that you hated me for being gay. That you saw the way I looked at you and was disgusted. I was scared that I would never see you again or this pack." Mckayla frowned, lowering her head. "I couldn't believe how my father turned on me. Hate came later."

   Mckayla faced me; expression blank but somehow readable. "I--I'm..." I blew out a gush of air. "I failed you. I did know how you felt. I suspected...and I got scared. I thought your father would talk to you...but not in the way I expected." I grabbed Mckayla's hand and her eyes fell to our fingers linked as I did the same. "Marie told us how they found you."
   "That was a long time ago," Mckayla dismissed.
   "But you wanted to die. You wouldn't be here now if Marie and Jace hadn't helped you."
   "Nina...drop this."
   "Why?"
   Mckayla snarled. "Because it doesn't matter now."
   "Yes it does. Instead of trying to kill yourself...you changed reflecting your anger onto others."
   "You don't know anything about what I did." Mckayla's eyes simmered gold, or the choices I made."
   "Then tell me."
   Mckayla turned her back to me.
   I only wanted Mckayla to come out of all her pain happy and ready to really begin a future with me. "How can we be mated to each other..." I walked toward her, my hand steadily falling to her back. I could feel her heart racing through my touch..."if I can't know all of you. The good and the bad?"
   Mckayla faced me with heat in her eyes. "Because...the bad is an evil I possess."
   Cupping her face, I looked hollow into her eyes. "Whatever wrong you committed...is no longer you. I love you. That won't change."
   Mckayla snorted dryly, without amusement in her gesture. "You love a woman who has killed the weakest. Weres like you...to scared to defend themselves and humans. You love a woman like that."
   I expected to hear those words. It was always evident of the harm she committed. "No." I brushed my thumb over her eyebrow and cheekbones, giving her the comfort she needed. "I love the woman who faced her demons and has spent her time after that...protecting those who need it." Our eyes locked with no chance of anyone snatching our attention away. "I love that woman. I love you."
I realized I was making the same mistakes again. Not in the same manner. Different circumstances. Mckayla was being her, through her abilities and because I was scared I wanted her to get rid of that portion of her.

   There was a certain part of Mckayla I wasn't ready to accept and I was trying to avoid; dismiss. Mckayla's abilities were apart of her and I loved her. "Oh God..." my eyes filled with tears. "I'm making the same mistake." I shook my head, lifting up, standing in front of Mckayla. I closed my eyes trying to focus on what I wanted to say. "I love you. I love who are and what blossoms within you." Mckayla had been through so much; done so much due to the one action I caused.

   Mckayla's eyes scrutinized me as I hoped she believed me. "You have to trust me. I might push my own limits to the point where you could declare it reckless...but since you, Kaylee, my sister, and this pack have come into my heart...you will never have to worry about me doing anything that would take me from you. Yes...of course...I will have to stand against challenges that will put my life at risk, but not due to recklessness."

   I nodded. "I'm sorry."

   Mckayla's expression curved into a small smile as she eased her way into standing, closer to me. "I'm sorry too." She pointed toward the hole in the door. "Bad habit. I'll fix it myself." Mckayla stared off and then back to me. I wish she would say the words back. I love you was words she always seemed to neglect. I could sense an aroma emanating from Mckayla. Her eyes told me her secret desires. One of her eyebrows arched higher than the other, as her gaze told me what she wanted.