Overdose (BXB) Completed/Editing

Chapter 20 - Scar

Overdose - Chapter 20

-Nico-

Yesterday, Alex spent the rest of the afternoon sketching something. I wanted to ask to see it but chose not to. I asked him a million times if he was hungry and each time he replied, "No." Despite that, I made soup and left it there just in case he got hungry.

The rain continued through the rest of the afternoon which didn't help in motivating me to continue working. Nevertheless, I got through all my emails and edited a few photos before I felt like my eyes would shrivel into nothingness. I offered him my bed instead of the couch and he declined, saying that he wouldn't be able to sleep.

He was right because I woke up three times and each time, he was still up staring out of the window. I wish I could help him in some way. It doesn't get easier from this point on, each day he'll have to resist urges and struggle to stay sober. Bad days will feel like catastrophes making it nearly impossible to escape the thought that using could make it all better.

At least he has his dad. Someone who hasn't given up on him which I think is what anyone suffering addiction needs. Those days when it feels like self-control is a bad babysitter who's always too far to reach, it's nice to have someone to be a guide. I can only wish that his dad doesn't lose faith in him because he will relapse at some point and that will be devastating.

"Morning," I mumble, walking past the couch, and toward the bathroom. He looks away from the window, "Hello," he says, his voice as soft as a gentle breeze. It's hard to believe that someone would be cruel to him. He's sometimes snappy and has a slight anger problem but underneath that, I know he has a gentle soul. The most heartbreaking part of everything that he's endured is that though he may heal, he'll forever suffer the symptoms.

After showering and getting dressed, I head back into the living room where Alex is still seated on the couch and staring out of the window. He must be exhausted given that he didn't sleep the entire night. He's barely moved since yesterday. "Do you want breakfast?" I ask walking over to the kitchen. "You sleep like a statue," He mumbles without taking his eyes off the building across from us. I stare at him confusedly, "Um...I-"

"Most people move around in their sleep but you, you just...lay still," He gets up from the couch and turns to me. A smile creeps its way to my lips, and I lean over the island, "Were you watching me sleep?" He stares at me with squinted eyes before looking away, "I was staring at everything, your bed just happened to be in my line of sight," He clarifies, folding his arms around his chest.

I nod, "Right, long enough for you to analyze and conclude that I sleep like a statue?" He presses his lips together before nodding quickly, "Mmh...yeah."

I smile to myself before turning to the fridge. "I'll leave now," he says, grabbing his bag from the floor. "Are you going home?" I ask, shoving my hands in my pockets. He bites his bottom lip and shakes his head no, "I'll just go to the park or something, I don't want to go home yet," He says, swinging the bag over his shoulder.

"Come to the pool with me, I have to do some light maintenance," I say walking over to the entry table. Alex looks around before nodding. "Great, we'll stop to get breakfast on the way," I cheer, grabbing my keys and phone from the table. I open the door for him, and he hesitates before walking out.

He goes to rehab tomorrow, a place he really doesn't want to be. Being alone right now is as good an idea as putting a cat in a room with an open can of tuna. Falling off the wagon is frighteningly easy, even those who've been sober for years can still fall off within seconds. Alex hasn't admitted he needs help, he's not doing this for himself, he's doing it for his dad.

There's nothing wrong with that but I don't think he truly believes that his decisions are worth it. I can't blame him, he's been through a lot and so far, the only thing that's kept him here is drugs. To him, drugs aren't the problem. I know he's just doing everything he can to make his dad happy. Really, he should be working towards his own happiness. In the end, his dad's happiness will come from seeing his son smile from his heart again.