Overdose (BXB) Completed/Editing

Chapter 11 - Roses

Overdose - Chapter 11

-Alex-

We got to the restaurant a few minutes after our conversation. The waitress sat us down in one of the booths and gave us two menus. I scanned the menu and used the time that Nico spent staring at his menu, to stare at him.

He's undoubtedly beautiful but so are roses whose branches are lined with thorns. I wonder what Nico's thorns are. Underneath his beautiful exterior, I wonder what tragedies lie waiting to be unveiled by some unsuspecting fool. Do you mean you? Precisely. Do I dare take this rose blindly and without inspecting for thorns? I've done that before and now my hands have bled enough reasons to not pick wild roses.

The waitress came back, and we ordered our food. I got the house soup while Nico ordered grilled salmon on top of quinoa. The silence after the waitress left felt suffocatingly tense. I began staring at the window in hopes that something exciting would happen so that I could finally breathe again.

"Do you have any siblings?" Nico finally asks. I exhale with relief before looking at him, "No, just me," I answer gladly. He nods, "does that mean you were spoiled?" He jokes while playing with his straw.

"Spoiled? Maybe. I definitely remember crying for things I couldn't have," I chuckle. Nico smiles warmly, "oh same, I vividly remember crying because I couldn't get a new set of Legos," he chuckles.

I snort loudly and stare at him, "Legos? You cried for Legos?"

He fakes a hurt frown, "Hey, not my proudest moment but yes, I did cry for Legos. I'm sure what you cried for was just as ridiculous," he jests. I press my lips together and shrug, "now that you've said that I won't tell you what I cried for."

He gasps with a fake offense, "wow, so now I'm embarrassed that I told you that." His hazel eyes shine under the warm yellow light above us. This feels awfully familiar to freshmen year. He's not Jackson. Exactly. I know what Jackson was capable of. Nico is uncharted territory with new things to discover.

My smile fades and I am once again back to thinking about the fine white powder waiting so patiently in my bag. I clear my throat, "Who was your sponsor?" I ask without much thought. Nico looks up at me with shock, "Oh...uhm...Carter, he's great. He got me through some tough times, I still go to him when I have bad days..." He admits.

"Bad days?" I query. He nods, "Yeah. What they don't usually tell you about sobriety is that there are days that you will have urges, that's the hardest part. Staying sober takes more mental power in the process of recovery. I'm not perfect so I still struggle on certain days," He explains sincerely. I nod, "Does Carter check on you all the time?"

Before he can open his mouth, the waitress places both of our plates on the table along with two more cups of water. Nico and I thank her. "He doesn't call my phone every five minutes; he calls periodically to make sure I'm still on the wagon. But I see him at the meetings every Tuesday and Friday," He explains before picking up his fork.

Getting sober sounds like it would change my relationship with my dad but at what cost? Will I still have to live with excruciating pain for the sake of recovery? If anything kills me, I'd rather it be drugs than insanity. You are too far gone. Maybe it would help if I talked to Carter. He might be able to help me figure it out. I can't do that on my own. Maybe going back to a meeting won't be that bad.

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We ate with minimal conversation, mostly about the food and ambiance of the restaurant. Nico said he comes here all the time because he and  his mom used to eat here while his dad worked late nights. He talks about her with care and adoration. I wish I were close to my mom, but she never allowed that.