Overdose (BXB) Completed/Editing

Chapter 30 - Thankful

Overdose - Chapter 30

-Alex-

How long does it take to find out that all your trauma was basically for nothing? Approximately, eight hours and thirty-six minutes. An entire day that I could have been doing something more productive. Like watching ice melt or counting sand grains.

Honestly, I did feel somewhat optimistic about the outcome earlier this morning. While getting dressed, hope draped itself over my shoulders accompanied by anxiety. Last night Nico dropped me off at home and I didn't want to get out of his car. I felt safe there, protected by his presence which says a lot. He assured me that he would only be around the corner from the courthouse and that I could go to him after all was done. Surely that's what got me through the day.

My mom and my dad pretended to get along as we walked through the building to meet Janet. My dad gave me a pep talk to assure me that regardless of the outcome today, I am still loved and cared for. I didn't say anything, but it meant a lot. My mom didn't say much which, frankly, I appreciated. Her silence brought me peace, but I could see that she wanted to say more than just a few words.

Janet talked to me as well and promised to do her best to bring me justice. I could tell she wanted a win, not just for me but for her too. She never got justice for what happened to her, and I think that's what's been driving her the entire time.

The air inside the building felt thick, impossible to filter through my lungs, and despite the large room, I still felt cornered. Knowing that the people who ruined my life were merely a door away from me sent fear coursing through my body. I hadn't thought that I would be scared, if anything, I thought I would be angry, but I was wrong.

Fear hovered over me as we waited for eight o'clock. I stared out at the busy street below us and thought about how much I didn't want to be there. I thought about how well things have been going. I'm seeing a therapist, I'm drawing again, I'm sober, and I have Nico. Though there isn't a label on what we are, I think the way we've been, speaks for itself. Maybe I don't need a trial, I thought to myself. Maybe I could live with knowing that those people get to move on without consequences because I've moved on...somewhat.

Then again, my mom and Janet need this. Janet wants to prove something to herself, and my mom wants to prove to me that she's done something to justify her lack of presence. I wish she knew that it doesn't matter what she does now, it's what she didn't do. She had a choice, and she chose herself.

Once we were called into the courtroom, I caught my first glimpse of Jackson since the day I left school. He looked the same, nothing much changed except his haircut. He did not attempt to look in my direction as he spoke with his parents. The smug look on their faces screamed that they did not want to be there. Like there were more important things to do. I wanted him to look into my eyes desperately, I wanted him to face me, but he didn't. I'm sure they coached him to not show emotion since that could be seen as a sign of guilt.

His team chose to separate themselves from the other frat guys. This was strategic on their end because they wanted to show that Jackson played no part in what happened except "taking care" of me after it happened. I guess dropping me off at a hospital almost two hours away from my home was his way of showing he cared. He could have let me die on his parent's expensive leather couch.

As the trial started, I tried to not zone out because Janet told me not to, but I did. It all felt pointless because the only thing we had to work off was text messages which his team argued; were fake and created shift blame on Jackson. Byron and the other guys declined to testify against Jackson and there is no doubt in my mind that they were paid or blackmailed. They pulled up the security footage when Jackson arrived at the emergency room. He looked calm and when talking to the nurse, he looked concerned. Probably to make himself look less guilty.