Anything It Takes

Chapter 4

I don’t have a note for this chapter, so if you’re reading this, I love you. (:

Enjoy~

-Morgan<3

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I looked at all of my best friends sitting in front of me, waiting on whatever news I have to tell them. For the ones who don’t know, they probably think I’m going to tell them I’m sorry for how I acted or something like that, but little do they know, I’m not.

Liam, Harry, and Zayn were sitting directly in front of me on my couch. Louis and Lilly were on the loveseat and Niall was sitting in the recliner. All eyes were on me. I gulped not knowing how to start this. Beforehand, Louis, Niall, and Lilly hugged me and wished me the best. It almost feels like I was taking an exam that chose whether or not I go to college. Come to think of it, I rather it be that exam, I feel like it would be easier than this.

“Before I tell you what I need to tell you, can you all promise that you’ll still love me? And that you’ll never judge me or look at me differently?” I stumbled over my words, but I knew they all understood after a chorus of “obviously why wouldn’t we’s” came about the three. I wiped my shaking hands on my sweatshirt which was hiding the scars that Lilly, Louis, and Niall didn’t know about. I figured I might as well tell everybody everything. You’d think that they’d question why I was wearing a sweatshirt in the middle of July. Apparently not.

I looked around and gulped, time to buck up and just say it.

“Four nights ago I tried committing suicide by overdosing on Ibuprofen pills. I had written out a letter to you five boys, Lilly, and my mom saying that I was sorry for... well... me. I had been depressed for about a year and a half previous to that night and currently still am. I think depression will always be a part of me. I never told anybody because I thought that if nobody noticed, maybe I could outrun it. But... I couldn’t. For seven months... I, uhm.. well.. I did this.” I closed my eyes and lifted up my sweatshirt and tank top, revealing the thin and faded scars scattered around my body. I put it back down and lowered the sides of my shorts revealing the scars on my beaten hips. I let a single tear fall down my face as every person in the room took a breath at the same time. “One at a time.” I didn’t want to be bombarded with questions and lectures.

I looked at Lilly who had an unreadable look on her face. She shook her head and stood up. “Maggie... I.. I’m sorry.” I hugged her and reassured her that it wasn’t her fault, it was anything but her fault. She sat back down and Louis stood up.

“I... You.. uhm... I want you to know that I’m here for you, okay? I love you, and I’m sorry.” He sat back down, but not before a hug. I was really starting to get annoyed with all of these ‘sorry’s’. They need to realize it’s my fault, not theirs! Niall jumped into my arms and hugged me. We hugged for a little bit before we were interrupted. I kissed his cheek and said that I was going to get help. He nodded and walked into the other room with Lilly and Louis. Liam was next. We had never exactly been “close” but we were close enough to care about each other. He said the same thing as the others, and that he would be here for me if I needed him.

I realized who was next. Zayn and Harry. I also realized everybody left the house. I shook my head and looked back at them. I didn’t expect this reaction from them. They were both in tears. Not the kind that falling down your face, but the ones that swam and were just simply there. Zayn had his head in his arms looking at the floor, and Harry was looking at the wall like it was the most interesting thing in history.

“G-guys.” They both looked at me as if I was going to disappear into thin air and they’d never see me again, which doesn’t sound too bad right now. “Somebody. Say something.” I was getting annoyed. Why were they not saying something? Harry looked away from me again. And that pissed me off. I walked over to him and punched his arm. He looked at me in awe. “Dammit Harry, say something! Say something! Anything!” I continued punching his arm as if it were going to do anything. Zayn looked over at us and picked me up and off of Harry. I was pushing against Zayn’s arm, tears flowing down my face, trying to punch Harry. Harry sat there with tears falling slowly down his face. I was screaming at him. I turned around and began to hit Zayn. He didn’t say anything either!