Ivy Cordelia Boarding School

Chapter Thirty-Two

n.

I may or may not have let everyone run around for over thirty minutes this morning like girls at a designer store sale, looking for Selah. Apparently, she hadn't told anyone she was leaving, nor did she answer any of their calls or texts. All of the guys looked sick to their stomach's, and the girls were crying their eyes out. Good. They deserved to be the sad ones, for once. 

But when Armani was two seconds away from calling her mom, and Grayson and Damien were on their way to alert the park ranger, I speak up.

"Is it Selah that you guys are looking for? I thought you all were doing a Salem role play. You know, about witches and stuff. SELAH left back to the school last night, so don't worry. She wasn't mauled by a bear or anything" I reassure them, looking up from my phone with a slight smirk.

"How are you so desperate for love and friendship, and then do shit like this? You do know that you're not fooling anyone, Nastassia. You walk around like a fifty year old woman still trying to find 'The One'. I bet you wish she was dead. That way you'd have clear access to Armani. Remember when you were going to try and use me to get to him?" Rhys asks.

He was the only one in the room with a calm exterior, but by his angry tone, I could tell that he was just as freaked out as the rest of them.

Ouch. I do NOT scream desperate. "I'm not the one who practiced that stupid ass swagger walk you do in the mirror for hours to perfect it, searched up what cologne makes guys irresistible to girls, and boast about your sexual endeavors all over school. Not forgetting the fact that you pretend that you don't want to sit with people in the DC, but chose to sit at an empty table in view of everyone, when you could just as easily take your plate to your room. THAT'S what begging for attention looks like".

No one else in the room seems to care about our petty argument. They all look as if they're recovering from seeing their favorite pair of shoes shredded in a professional grade meat grinder, but really it was the knock off pair they bought to gift to a friend they actually hated for their birthday. I know that's a weirdly specific comparison, but that's because it actually happened to me. 

"Did you know that the lipstick you love to wear really dries your lips out. When we kissed it felt like I pressed my lips to a crocodile's back" he responds, and I gasp.

"I do not exfoliate my lips once a week and wear a lip mask every single night for you to just LIE like that, asshole. Take that BACK!" I yell, stepping up to where he is on the couch.

"No" he refuses, leaning back to make sure I knew that he didn't feel threatened in anyway. 

"You're disgusting. I can't believe you'd SAY something as horrible as that. And anyway, I'm not desperate for friends. If I was, Peyton would still be here. And Selah doesn't need to DIE for the path to Armani to be open, because they broke up, idiot".

Everyone in the room perks up at that little tidbit of information, while Armani stands up from his place on the arm of the couch, and heads upstairs. But not before shooting me the most piercing glare I'd ever received. Maybe getting into his good graces wouldn't be as easy as I'd thought. Weirdly enough, Skylar follows in behind him. 

"What do you mean they BROKE up? And how would you even know about it if they did?" Peony asks, drawing my attention to her sitting there with Cason Jett's hand cupping her thigh. Ew.

"Maybe you guys aren't as close as you think that you are. She told me when she came to get me released from that stupid hospital room. You know, something none of YOU thought to do. I would've been stuck there forever if it wasn't for her".

My eyes widen a bit, and I swallow, conscious of every single movement I was making. No one else wanted to come and help me, except for her. My mom surely never would have come from wherever she was to pick me up. And yet, I came straight here to get in good with her ex-boyfriend. The one who she was CLEARLY in love with. How horrible of a person AM I?

"Why do you look as if you've seen a ghost?" Elliana asks, standing up and grabbing my arm as if I was about to faint. I sort of felt like I was. I'd been gunning for Selah since she got here, even though she ALWAYS offered me an in on whatever they were doing, or help when I needed it.

God, I'm an idiot. 

Selah Stryker wanted to be my FRIEND.

"I'm fine. Thanks, Ell" I say quietly, walking over to the love seat and taking a seat beside Taylor. "No problem. And I'm sorry about not...visiting you. It's just that with the blackmail and stuff, I didn't really WANT to be your friend. But now that I thought something happened to Selah, I want to let all of that go" she admits, taking her place back on Damien's lap.

I'd been watching them all morning. I noticed how he kept hugging her for comfort, and resting his chin on her head. He even made sure she ate and drank throughout all of the chaos. They were a really cute couple.

"Why would you want to be my friend? I was the WORST to you and Ken. I'll delete all of that stupid stuff, I promise. You guys can even WATCH me do it. I'm sorry for being such a bitch" I say earnestly, seeing all of my faults laid before my eyes. 

I felt like I was about to throw up. "I forgive you" Elliana says with a small smile, giggling at the kisses Damien places on her neck. Kennedi studies me for a moment, all squinty eyed and judgy.

"I ACTUALLY believe that was a genuine apology. I forgive you as well" she says warily. 

I turn to Gray, who I realized in that moment, just HOW horrible I'd treated.

"Grayson, I-".

He waves me away, standing up from the couch. "I'm going to go and check on Armani. And then after that, I'm heading back to school. I can't stop thinking about how upset Selah must be".

I could see how much he cared about her, and I force myself to ignore the jolt of jealousy at the fact that I felt replaced. I had to start fighting my demons better than I had been.

"You're right. We should all go back and check on her" I agree, to which he looks surprised. 

"What are you playing at, Nastassia?".

"I'm not PLAYING at anything. She seemed really sad last night and I want to go and make sure that she's okay".

While he's still trying to decide if I was working some kind of angle, Peony speaks up.

"I don't care if she really wants to, or not. I do. If it was any of us, Selah would have left by now. So let's go" Peony says bossily, clapping her hands in a signal to 'hurry the fuck up'.

And everyone does, scrambling to go to their rooms and pack. This was what it felt like to have people genuinely care for you. 

And I wanted IN.