your touch || 𝗮. 𝗺𝗶𝗸𝗮𝘀𝗮

𝘀𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝗹 (one)

𝗺𝗶𝗸𝗮𝘀𝗮 𝗽𝗼𝘃

"wait!" i called out, but it was too late. the one i loved, the one i told myself i wouldn't lose was already leaving, already on her way to a fatal battle. and i couldn't stop her.

that green cloak flew in the heavy wind as she maneuvered across the dim-lit sky.

stars.

right, she always loved the stars, didn't she. the bright and shiny ones always fascinated her the most, always brought a dorky smile to her face.

it was cute, the way her mood changed once she looked up at the sky, no matter how ugly or dull it looked. it's like she sensed a story behind it, a powerful tale that caused her to stare for ages.

that was probably why she looked up at the sky before leaving.

nature.

she loved that too. the spiky, cold grass underneath her as she lazily spread her legs and arms out, the tall wavy trees echoing some sort of "woosh" sound as the night grew. and the bugs that would occasionally visit her that she told stories to. she loved telling stories, especially to those who were willing to listen.

like me. i was willing to listen. me..

the concept of 'me' in her eyes meant love, didn't it? she couldn't stop bragging about how much she loved me, or how she loved me since "the day i laid eyes on you."

so why was she forcing herself into that heap of a mess? why was she still fighting when she knew there was a small chance she would come back alive, zero chance of coming back unharmed? when she knew there was a slim chance of her coming back to me.

that's what we trained for though. to serve our leaders, protect the citizens, save the walls from crashing down.

but what about us?

what about the bond we created, the risks we took to get to where we are in our relationship.

and as all these thoughts swarmed my head, the day i kissed her, the day we held hands, watched the sky together, confessed our love for each other, all i did was stand still, watching her fade farther and farther away from me.

watching her disappear into the smog that took up most of the already foggy forest.

everything seemed still, even time itself for some reason. she was leaving, and yet time was frozen. strange what feelings can do to a person.

strange what that girl, y/n l/n, can do to me.

"stay here" she ordered before taking off with the odm gear.

but i can't.

"i promised i would protect you mikasa. i'm just fulfilling my side of the bet." she whispered against my stained, sweaty cheek.

what promise was she talking about? why do i need protection from her?

"listen to me. i love you, and nothing will ever change that." she spat, her voice cracking with every few words. those tears of hers begging to be spilled out.

she loves me. she wants to protect me just as much i need to protect her. so why was she doing this to me; telling me bullshit that she knew i wouldn't obey.

we're in this together, you dumbass.

"don't do some dumb shit like follow me, got it mikasa?"

what type of woman does she take me for? after all, we have been dating for quite some time now. she knows better then anyone that wherever she'll go, i'll follow. she's my star, my best part.

i swung out my gear, getting ready to blast myself into the thinning air, way above the lengthy forest trees.

i had to control myself, my emotions. funny, i never felt these emotions until i met her. what the hell did y/n turn me into.. some sappy lover i am.

though the shaking in my legs and arms furiously tried to stop me from my goal, i ignored it.. ignored it all. all of it.

"i'm not gonna watch you get yourself killed." i mumbled, the scratches on my face and slightly wounded body getting hit by the tough wind as i flew from tree to tree.

and that kiss she planted on my forehead before leaving me, i could still feel her lips. i could feel her warmth, her smile, her skin. no breeze could brush off the familiar, unique touch she had.

my pulse took up most of my hearing, that loud echoey thumping. the fog mainly took up most of my vision, but the blurry motions within them guided me through the jungle of trees.

"mikasa!" i heard someone shout. their voice was trembling with fear, i could hear it. but it wasn't a cry for help as much as it was a cry to leave, evacuate.

and as i turned my head, i saw the face of fear, trembling terror. it was armin, his hazel-like eyes staring deeply into mine. he was begging me to leave.

he wasn't pleading for help, for assistance, he was telling me to go. go as far away as i could from this area. why were his eyes so desperate? so fearful that when he screamed my name, his eyes only met mine for a few seconds before returning his gaze somewhere else..

"armin.." what was he looking at? why was he so speechless, so worked up yet so.. defeated?

"what's.. what's happening?" i asked, mainly to myself. what was he so shocked about, so shocked that he said my name like that?

i shook my head in denial, trying to convince myself that no matter what, y/n was alive. she's fine, she's just fighting titans, chopping their napes off one by one and rewarding herself with the pleasure of knowing she's closer to getting jeans' dinner than he is hers'.

but this dangerous feeling, like a corkscrew drilling endlessly into my skin occupied my brain, sent shivers down my back, an empty feeling in my stomach.

i shot the metallic wire towards the branch armin was balancing on, feeling airborne as i propelled myself into the bloodshed-like atmosphere.