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THE COLD BREEZE went through my hair making me feel calm as we drove by. the buildings rushing by me showing the blurry lights. alessio was in the backseat sleeping so carelessly not even knowing what he was getting into.
for the whole time he was with me he didn't seem to cry as much as i expected. he did wake me up multiple times during the night but i knew it was going to happen. overall i never wished for another kid other than alessio. he was perfect and even if people say nobody's perfect i knew that my child and the mother of my child were perfect.
getting closer to her apartment, lead me to feel sad that i wasn't going to see alessio anymore. it ached me seeing him leave since i had such a strong connection with him but i knew it was for the best. i knew i was crazy and with my bad temper, i was afraid of hurting him. as much as i wanted to turn the car around and go back home, i couldn't.
stopping in front of her apartment complex, i sighed turning around to see alessio. he had a small mirror attached to the seat so i was able to see him without having to get out of the car. (the mirror is in front of alessio)
"well this is where i have to leave you"
"i really wanted us to be a big family but i don't think that it can happen. or at least for right now"
"i love you"
i didn't even notice that i was crying until i felt a hot tear land on my hand. i wiped it off getting out of the car to get alessio. i walked through the main entrance to not see mr smith anymore. he was always so cautious on who walked in but this time he was nowhere to be seen. looking at the front desk, i shrugged and passed by it. i pressed the button to her floor and made my way to my angel.
ʏ/ɴs ᴘᴏᴠ
i cried my heart out when i noticed that alessio wasn't really alessio. i was staring at a stuffed bunny that had a blanket wrapped around it making me disappointed. millions of voices went through my head saying how bad of a mother i was.
"he's gone because of you"
"you were never meant to be a mom"
"he's dead."
i knew i shouldn't have kept him.
"where are you?" i sobbed
i dug myself into my pillow hugging one of his stuffed animals. the aroma of his scent filled my nose bringing some sort of comfort. i was pretty sure that it smelt like tears and sorrow but all it smelt like to me was my son. the feeling of being stabbed washed over me and i cried even harder. my shaky breaths stopped when i heard a knock on the door.
