[old version] 1 | 𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚅𝙴 ᴳˡᵉᵉ

26. Play that Funky Music

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          "I feel so violated. It's like someone broke into our home," Tina said, as we cleaned the toilet paper out of the choir room.

"Look, it was just a lame little prank. The fact that they're trying to get to us means maybe we got 'em spooked," Mr. Schue tried to reassure us.

"Uh-uh, Mr. Schue. They aren't afraid of anything," Mercedes said "That number they did was fantastic. Which doesn't make any sense. They had all that equipment. How did they even get in?"

"I gave 'em all keys. Helped 'em do a soundcheck over the weekend," Sue said, entering the room, a group of students following her. "Hey, this way, fellas. Let's punch out this wall here, open up the space a little bit."

"Sue, what are you doing?" Mr. Schue asked her.

"I can't talk now, William. Drafting class is helping me redecorate around here. You see, I have nationals over the weekend and expect to return with a comically large first-place trophy for which I have absolutely no room in my trophy case. As soon as you hurry up and lose at regionals this choir room will become my official trophy annex," Sue explained to Mr. Schue, before turning back to the students. "You know what it has to look like Elvis's gold record room at Graceland. Except I'll be wanting far fewer morbidly obese white women waddling around and crying,"

"Sue, get out of my room," Mr. Schue said, growing angry.

"Glee Clubbers, for those of you whose hearing has not been damaged by massive doses of Accutane, listen up. In a few weeks, Glee Club will be finished. Now, how do I know that? I recently checked the odds with my Vegas bookie who told me that you are going to lose and your dreams will be crushed," Sue said to us.

"Sue, can I see your trophy?" Mr. Schue asked.

"Sure, Will. Hope and dream," Sue said, handing Mr. Schue the trophy, only for Mr. Schue to smash it against the wall.

"You dropped your trophy, Sue," He said.

"You know, for me, trophies are like herpes. You can try to get rid of'em, but they just keep comin'," Sue said, getting up in Mr. Schue's face. "You know why? Sue Sylvester has hourly flare-ups of burning, itchy, highly contagious talent. Enjoy your last few days here. This room is mine,"

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           "All right, guys, today I want to talk to you about regrets. Who has some?" Mr. Schue asked as he entered the choir room for glee practice the next day.

"Giving my heart to Jesse, just to have it crushed like the stage floor at Stomp," Rachel said from the piano bench she was mopping on.

"Thinking 'Trust me' was a sensible birth control option," Quinn added.

"We all have them. I just finalized my divorce. I regret living in a relationship that wasn't working, letting her put me in these deep funks and not fighting back," Mr. Schue said.

"Besides creeping us out, why are you telling us this?" Santana asked, looking up from where she was laying across several chairs.

"Because if we lose to Vocal Adrenaline at regionals, none of us are gonna regret it. We will have given it our best shot and we won't look back. But we will regret letting them get the best of us before the competition which is why we need to hit them back just like they hit us,"

"So you want us to T.P Their choir room?" Quinn asked, confused.

"Whatever the better, cooler version of that is, like, uh maybe," Mr. Schue said, trying to come up with an idea. "Maybe we should steal their school statue,"