K Project Misaki Yata One Shots - 1215

AU Short Story Episode 6

The meeting to talk about the first strategy to prevent the green clan from stealing the slates went on without much of a hitch. I stayed near the back, sitting with a glum look beside Saruhiko, staring at Misaki who was looking at the silver king like he was desperately trying to pay attention but couldn't.
I hadn't ever had the chance to see him with that kind of dumbed-out look before. It was adorable.
But... there was one thing that was worrying me, that prevented me from being able to find peace in looking at the one person I cared for the most. It was the possibility of the blue king standing up in front of everyone, telling everyone about my knowledge and have them use me to win. Munakata already said he wouldn't ask anything of me, and told me not to talk about it. But what happens if he gets to his wits end? He's already cracked under the pressure of his cracking sword of Damocles.

They didn't, at least for now. I waited with Saruhiko behind the scenes during the battle, waiting for it to end. I knew all about the outcome, and everything after, but I couldn't transcribe every detail if asked. I didn't know the names of the few injured, I just knew no one died. When it was over, and I watched Saruhiko and Munakata play out their fight, I wondered if the blue king had actually planned to lose more than he planned to win.

That same night, when Saruhiko stormed off, I walked after him just to give a small word. Or, maybe I just wanted to watch him walk off, or something.
"Following me now? Have something to warn me about?"
"No."
"You know all about how this is planned, I'm sure."
"I do. So what? I won't be able to see you for a while."
"Does it even matter? Without me, there's no one strong enough to stop you from running off to visit your dear Misaki-kun."
I frowned, why was he being like this?
"Saruhiko, I know it's planned, so you can drop the act."
"What act? I'm a terrible actor." He snickered, "I have no obligation to say some serious, petty goodbye to you."

I guess he didn't. He never owed me anything, nor did I owe him anything. I never pushed when someone told me to leave them alone... maybe that was just because I knew what it felt like when someone I didn't like liked me so much they wouldn't leave me alone. Dumping their problems on me, desperately trying to get me to sympathize with them, making me think we're alike and a good match, while acting like they don't care. I know how annoying it is when you just don't like someone, but they keep following you around. I know that in the end, I'm not wrong for not liking that person back. If it was the other way around, that persons not wrong for not liking me back either.
There's never any obligation. Everyone likes different things, everyone wants to take their own pace, with friendship, with romance, with everything in between. Saruhiko was just another human, just like me, just like Misaki. We grew and liked different things, and sometimes our different interests and different comfort zones separated us.
Whenever I had to tell someone, like a desperate boy in middle school, that I just didn't like him back, it was always hard to try not to sound mean when being clear. Saruhiko sounded mean too, but I had to understand. Maybe he really was just doing his job all this time.
Why did he take me out to see Misaki then instead of telling me no? Why did he encourage me to stop to cry, sitting beside me in supportive silence, instead of ignoring me and leaving me to fall behind in steps?
When someone likes you, but you just don't like them back, you usually never indulge them. Maybe you indulge at first but change your mind when you learn more about them and don't like what you see, or things go in a direction you don't want them to. But mine and Saruhiko's relationship never really wavered. It was always the same.
Be near each other, make sure I wasn't going to hurt myself or use my strain powers. For the most part, leave Saruhiko in peace to do his work. But now, with this new plan, I guess he didn't have to hide it. He didn't even ask me if he'd live.

His words telling me to run after Misaki made me want to punch his face in.
I did as he said, though, and walked out of the base around noon, when everyone was hectically trying to find Saruhiko because no one knew but him and the king. And me, I guess. But I left before anyone could track me down to ask.
I remembered the way to the Homra bar easily, and stayed in places where there was a lot of other people around. No greens seemed to be out to follow orders at the time.
When I got there, I stopped across the street and just looked at the outside. Even though I visited with Saruhiko to deliver some goods when Misaki, Rikio and Anna were mourning, it felt like I hadn't been here since the last time I went back in time.
Maybe it's because I was here alone this time, just like I was always alone in my mission before.

I swallowed, thinking about getting into a fight with Misaki when I kept arguing with Mikoto about what he was planning, befriending Anna by the third time became like I was reading off a script, and I had a nightmare once that because she was a strain too, she knew what I was doing and thought badly of me.
And that painful memory, of begging Tatara not to go...
I took a breath, and went to leave when the doors opened.
"Yuri! I thought that was you!"
I froze, my head turned so fast to look back that I swear I almost broke my neck, and Misaki stood with a small smile, "Uh... I..."
"What are you doing just standing there? And why are you alone?"
"Um... well..."
Oh, god. The sun's shinning on him.
The sun's shinning on him and he's holding the door open for me, and Saruhiko was such a jerk, and no one at the blue's base even saw me leave. I hadn't been called. I felt like they didn't care. I felt like such a burden, and I missed him so much.
I just simply, so simply loved Misaki with all my heart, and not being able to see him for so long hurt me more than I realized. It didn't even matter if we were together or not, if he loved me back or not. I loved him, and I just wanted him to be happy, and I just wanted to curl up with him and not feel all this pain anymore.
"Hey, it's okay, it's okay." His voice spoke through all the hiccupping, and I saw his hands reach for my wrists as I wiped my eyes, "Did something happen? Let's talk inside."
"O-okay..." I breathed, sniffling as he grabbed my wrist and led me inside with him, pointing me to the bathroom to wash up.

I didn't notice the bar was full of all the members till I came back out, my nose not stuffed anymore, my eyes wet and cold around the edges from washing my face. Everything seemed fresh, new... but the smell was familiar.
No one stopped me, but I felt their gazes as I walked around. I ended up right in front of the photo board they had set up. Still the same as it always was. Pictures Tatara took of all of them. This time... I wasn't in any of them.
"Yuri." I blinked, glancing over to see Misaki, "Wanna sit down?"
"Yeah, sure." I mumbled.
Once I was seated on the couch, Izumo handed me some water and I thanked him quickly before Misaki started talking. He asked me again if something happened, that the blue's had called asking about Saruhiko.
I set the cup down and pondered for a moment, "Well... you know Saruhiko."
He scoffed, "Yeah, I do. Did he say something to you?"
"Well... he told me..." I trailed off, then decided I didn't want to say it, and turned my head, "Nothing."
"What?!" He barked, "Come on, tell me what he said!"
"No."
"Hey, whatever it is, I won't laugh or belittle your feelings- or whatever! If he made you cry-"
"He didn't make me cry." I smiled lightly, turning to look at him, "He just made a stupid comment, and it made me angry."
"So then, why were you crying?"
"It's my first time back at the bar by myself. I stood there and figured I should just turn around, because I kept remembering sad things... but then you came out and called me in, and I guess I felt relieved. I guess I... I guess I missed everyone."
It was silent for a while, a bit of an awkward while, until Misaki swallowed hard and asked,
"Can you tell me... about... when you went back? What happened, er- you don't have to go in detail but... I guess I'm just curious. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to!"
"Should I... talk about it with everyone?" I asked, finally looking up to meet the eyes of all the others who kept taking glances at me, "Would you all like to listen? I'm okay with talking about it with you."
"Are you sure, Yuri?" Anna asked, walking up to me, "You don't have to."
"It's alright. I know you're all curious."