Parenting 101

TWENTY-ONE - In His Eyes, Now and Forever

TWENTY-ONE

~In His Eyes, Now and Forever~

Blake's P.O.V

I slowly opened my eyes taking in my surroundings, stretching out my body. The sun seemed to be rising, but there was still some shadow. It was probably around 7 in the morning. There was a weight on my left arm. The events of yesterday played through my head as I turned towards my arms, closing my eyes out of embarrassment.

Why did I have to act out over that stupid asshole?! Why can't I just tell her how it is? Why am I hiding things from her? What's the worse that could happen? She'll reject me and we'll never talk again...? Never mind. I let out a groan, wrapping my right arm around Chris to hold him closer to me and nuzzle my face in him. Unsure of why Chris seemed a little heavier, I lifted my head away from him and opened my eyes.

Jackie

My heart began to race. Jackie was laying on my arm. She was turned away from me, her hand laying on top of mine as we shared a blanket. I looked in front of her, only to find Chris taking up more than half of the bed, sleeping diagonally. He had taken over the blanket that he and Jackie were sharing. His feet against Jackie's stomach. If I remember correctly, Chris was in between us. What happened last night? I don't think it was intentional. As much as I hope it was, Jackie would never.

I pick my body up, careful not to stir Jackie while she lays on my arm. I reach over to Chris, grabbing his arm and pulling him gently so he's lying straighter. I move his leg away from Jackie's stomach and fix the blanket on him.

Jackie stirs in her sleep, turning her side so she is facing me now. I quickly lie back down and close my eyes; afraid she was waking up. Her hand landed on my chest before she stopped moving.

I slowly opened my eyes and looked at her. My heart was racing. She was still fast asleep. As much as I wanted this moment to freeze, I pick up her hand, placing it on her stomach. I tried to gently pull my hand from underneath her. She once again stirred, wrapping her arm around me and tangling her leg with mine, her body pressed against mine; her 5'8 body barely managing to cover all of mine. She murmured something in her sleep before going still again. My blood rushed all over my body. I put a hand over my face, rubbing it slightly as I try to calm myself. If only she could be like this with me consciously, if only we could both lie like this without an excuse. I turn my face towards her and peek between my fingers. She was still sleeping. I move my hand to get a better look at her. Her hair was falling on her face, her lips ever so slightly parted as she let out tiny snores. She must have been really tired. God, she's so beautiful. I gently move pieces of her hair away from her face.

A smile creeps up on my face thinking back to when I first met her. We were 3. I still remember the little girl in a blue dress, dressed as Princess Jasmine. I don't remember what the occasion was, but once my mom saw her, she reminded me that it was at a Halloween party my parents had thrown for their employees. Her mom was a valuable worker at our company.

Jackie was hiding under the table since the adults had put a lot of effort into their costumes. I, too, went under the table. She had gotten scared at the sudden sight of me, but eventually calmed down once she realized, I wasn't scary. I still remember her hitting me for scaring her. I tried to comfort her, telling her there was nothing to be scared of. She refused to budge.

I finally took her hand and said, "If you get scared, just squeeze my hand". My hand was squeezed multiple times that day. Before leaving the party, she had apologized for hurting me and kissed my hand to make my 'booboo' go away. We even got our picture taken; I still have it. That's the first memory that I can remember, and I'm glad it's of her.

To think that out of all the people in the world, I'd be raising a kid with her. Chris looks just like Jackie. He has her cute little nose with a turned-up tip, her dark-brown hair, and even that very faint dimple she gets on her left cheek when she smiles.

My phone buzzes beside me, indicating I got a text. I pick it up to check who's texting me so early in the morning. Alexa.

Blake, I'm coming back in two days. I know you were just joking about breaking up. I gave you your space. But baby I love you. We can't break up. I'll help you raise Chris for as long as you want. It's only temporary anyway. You don't need Jackie. I can easily do everything she does.

I let out a silent groan. I broke up with Alexa the day I kissed Jackie. She had gone for a vacation after that. She said let's give each other space until she comes back and that I was overreacting. I didn't like the way Alexa talked about Chris. Once Chris and Jackie came into life, I understood what Caden had been trying to tell me this whole time. Alexa doesn't care about anyone but herself. The more time I spent with her, the more I realized. Alexa isn't someone that I can spend the rest of my life with. Someone I can call my family.

I can understand that me being constantly around Jackie made her uncomfortable, but to badmouth a little kid for that. Especially my kid? I can't let that pass. And Jackie. My Jackie. I tried so hard to listen to her advice. To work it out with Alexa, but I couldn't. Each day got worse, and with each day I regretted being with her. And with every passing day, I wished I could be with Jackie instead. I want to be with her all the time. I want to be with my family all the time.

At times I forget this is just a pretend family.

I wrap my arm around Jackie as she was still laying on it and type a reply to Alexa, telling her we were done for good.

I put my phone back and wrap my other arm around Jackie. I examine her face. She looked so peaceful.

Now to get that Dante ass out of the picture. Why did he have to ask her out while I was there? I was so rude to her. I regretted it so much.

"I hate it when I see you talking to that Dante guy in the hallway. I hate it when you're always here for Chris and never for me. But I'm also glad because I get to see you and I get to spend time with you." I quietly tell the sleeping Jackie, smiling to myself thinking about how she would interpret this if she heard me. "I love Chris with all my heart, and I am so thankful that he's in my life, and that you're in my life because of him. But sometimes I just really wish you would look past him and look at me. Blake. Not as a friend, not as Chris's dad. But for me."

I don't know why I was saying all this to her while she was sleeping. Maybe because it was much easier, and I really wanted to get this off my chest.

"You're the prettiest and most beautiful girl to ever exist. I love how you're so caring and gentle, and how mad you get when Chris and I don't listen to you. I love it when you talk to me with every right on me. Like how you confront me when I'm not acting right and how you told me to get a haircut" I let out a small laugh thinking about the incidents.

"Everybody knows but you, hell even your dad knows" I continue, remembering the conversation Caden and I had with her dad when we once ran into him at a restaurant. He seemed to be on a date with Jackie's Auntie. He threatened both of us to take good care of his daughters, saying he was well aware of how we liked them. Her dad was a scary guy when he wanted to be.

"I broke up with Alexa, for good. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, but that was the easiest way I could control myself to stay away from you. To not ruin our friendship and risk you leaving. Because you're the only girl I want to be with. Now and forever. I love you, Jackie, I love you more than you'll ever know. Hopefully, I can say all this again to you when you wake up." I place a soft kiss on her forehead, before placing my head on top of hers. I hold her against me, hoping she'll still be here when I wake up again. I close my eyes, ready to fall back asleep.