jujutsu kaisen oneshots || requests closed

hanahaki // inumaki *two endings*

okay this was requested! sorry it took so long lol

warnings: afab reader, mentions of blood, mentions of death, kinda emotional?? i mean who wouldn't be if this was a reality lol, typos, there are two endings lol bc i felt a little evil tonight

~~~

it had officially been a week since you had officially recognized your feelings for toge. at first, it was told through the skip in your heartbeat when his fingers would brush against yours, or the burning sensation deep in your cheeks whenever he checked in on you after a particularly hard training session or assignment. 

it was the way that no matter what he did, he always seemed to put a smile on your face. it was in the way that he treated you with so much kindness that nobody else had for you. maybe it was special treatment. maybe he felt the same way about you?

yeah, no. that was quickly shot down. at first, you were hopeful, looking to him starry eyes, hoping to find something in his eyes you couldn't quite see. but, after a whole 24 hours of knowing you felt this way about him, you coughed up a petal. a single, pastel pink petal. there were a few drops of blood on the petal and your hands shook when the petal fell into them.

tears welled up in your eyes, not because of the slight pang in your chest, or the sudden difficulty to breathe, but because you knew in this moment he saw you as nothing more than a friend. you didn't sleep well that night. in fact, you didn't sleep at all. the ache in your chest was getting stronger by the minute, though you didn't notice it.

the following day, your eyes held a certain sadness nobody had seen before. they didn't notice the way your hands shook or the way you had to take more breaks than usual to catch your breath. already, the roots were growing deeper and deeper in your lungs. you couldn't feel them, but the pain beneath your breast was evidence enough.

the following week, you began to pale in color. one petal had turned into two. more blood than before painted the light colored petals a grim crimson. you frowned, looking at the petals. you had heard of this disease many a time, but never met anybody who had experienced it. who do you turn to? nobody here would be able to help, and asking for help because of a simple crush would be more humiliating than anything.

you wouldn't have the operation done. you couldn't. you wouldn't be able to forgive yourself if you gave up your feelings for self-preservation. and so, you choked it down. each time you felt the urge to cough up another petal in the middle of training, you would take a 'breather', in which you would cough up the petal, swallow the blood with a grimace, and keep the petals tucked in your cheeks or under your tongue until you could dispose of them discreetly. 

a week afterward, two petals turned to four. four petals, suffocating you until the last was coughed up. the petals weren't even the worst part. it was the blood. the metallic taste lingered on your tongue no matter how many times you brushed your teeth. 

you could already feel the way your breath was becoming more labored, the way you were growing weaker with the constant blood loss. you couldn't help it. there was nothing you could do. sure, pursuing toge and hoping he falls in love as well was an option, but you would feel guilty, as though you were forcing him to fall in love for your own gain. that would be wrong.

now you really were pathetic. maybe that was it. maybe that was why he treated you so differently. he didn't care for the others the same way he cared for you, always checking in and making sure you didn't train too hard. maybe he pitied you. yeah, that must be it.

the first person to find out was nobara. you were helping her before the sister school event, working on her technique. she had thrown a powerful hit into your chest, and you staggered back, blood seeping into your mouth.