An Arranged Affair

deep dark secrets

Then she started picking on small things, like how I wore my hair or my choice in clothes, there wasn’t a day that went by she didn’t find something wrong with me.

Shooting became a release, a way to get away from home and Mumma. And I was good, gold medal good. But the night before my team when for the competition, Mumma and Papa had fight .” I said slowly, not sure how to form the words of what I wanted to say.

“ Mumma and Papa have had their fights and they were usually over as fast as they had begun but this time it was different.  This time is was one of those quite, long drawn out fights. Mumma began sleeping in your old room and she could barely look at Papa. You had already gone to uni and I was alone, I didn’t know how to contact you and I was scared they were getting a divorce, I said looking at my brother.

But as the competition trip got closer things got even worse  between Mumma and Papa. The didn't talk as they did, Mumma constantly had a scowl on her face and Papa always had a sad look on his face. Then at night, when I was supposed to be sleeping, I heard Mumma shouting at Papa, so I quietly when to see what was going on .

I will never forget it, Mumma was yelling, screaming at Papa, about how he had influenced me to go shooting, about how if I won the competition and got the scholarship I would go out and ruin the family name and become one of those girls. A cheap, uncultured, disrespectful girl. She went on and on about how this competition would ruin me and the family , how they would never be able to find a good marriage match for you and that we would be ruined in society, the way she yelled and screamed, and how Papa just sat at his desk, head in his hands, unable to do anything except listen. It broke my heart. I had always thought that whatever I did, I was fully supported, but then I realised that it wasn't true.

I also realised that if I didn't do something, my decisions would have torn them apart.” I paused to take a deep breath and sort through my memories blinking back tears that I had held back for so many ears, swallowing back down the bitterness that only I had had to bear.

“ I tried to call the coach to say I wasn't going to go but he insisted that it was just nerves. I spent the whole night crying and went on the trip anyway. I was tired and distracted, it wasn't hard  to lose focus and I lost purposely. I made enough points to get my team to place, but I knew it was over for me and any future scholarship hopes.

The rest is history.”

I said putting my mug on the coffee table, the hot chocolate had gone cold and I no longer wanted to drink it, before looking up at the dumfounded two in front of me.

“ You gave it all up. Why? When I got the scholarship to med school I took it without a second thought.” Bhaiya said, massaging his temples.

“ After you left one of us had to stay behind. Once I knew that I didn’t have a choice. I made a choice for my family -our family- and I would do it all again in a heartbeat.” I said, looking at Phillip, hoping he understood that he was my family too. “besides its’ worked out well. I’m 22, graduated, married, with a bright future to look forward to- once Papa wakes up.”

Phillip had not said anything had an angry scowl as his phone vibrated in his hand. He got up and kissed me on the forehead.

“ Sorry babe, I need to take this.” He said stepping out onto the balcony, the sounds of the busy city burst in along with the crisp breeze and added some welcome chill and fresh air into the room.

Bhaiya and I chatted quietly about out past experiences of the past few years until we both stopped, words still hanging off our tongues as we heard Phillip shouting from the balcony.

“ Strike? What do you mean strike? It’s the beginning of the holiday season, we cannot have the hotel unstaffed. What exactly do they want? If it’s more money then give them more money, its not like we don’t make more than enough profit! What do you mean they don’t money? Look, don’t do anything more before you fuck things up even more, I’m heading to the office.”