Broken Inside

50 - The Designer

Alex was really nervous. She was meeting with Victor Vaughn for the very first time. If he decided he didn't like her, she could be dropped from the gig. That's the last thing that Alex wanted. So she aimed to make the best first impression.

She arrived early, ahead from the other models, at Victor's studio. She had done her research on Victor's previous collections, what he likes, his dislikes. She knew she was ready.

Victor Vaughn was a British designer, but he was actually half English, half Scottish. He's five foot two inches, bald, and has smooth skin like a baby's bottom. He started to make a name for himself when Emily Blunt wore his design to the BAFTA. 

Alex was standing in line with the other models, while Victor scrutinised them and picked which design they will be wearing. Then they did the fitting. Next, comes the practice runway walk.

Alex was first to go. She was wearing the clothes, with a Japanese fan in her hand. Victor and his assistants were standing at the opposite end of the room, watching her like a hawk. Alex tried to remember everything that Caroline told her about Victor, as well as the things that she read in her research. 

Taking a deep breath, she straightened her shoulders, wore a fierce look on her face and she started walking.

Alex pretended like she was walking the runway for Victoria Secret, giving her strut a lot of energy. But she kept her face serious, like she was walking for Gucci. Then at the end of the runway, she flipped open her fan and posed, giving Victor the sharp glare. Then she spun around with gusto and walked back to her original post.

The other models were looking at each other, some were shaking their heads and chuckling silently. Alex's heart was racing. Did she just made a complete fool of herself?

She turned back to face Victor and waited. A second seemed to drag for so long. Victor was not smiling. He was discussing quietly with his assistants, keeping his sharp eyes on Alex. 

Then, after what seemed like forever, Victor took a deep breath and exhaled sharply. "I love it!" he declared with gusto. He pointed at Alex and asked, "You, what is your name?"

"Alex Smith."

"Brilliant, Alex, just brilliant!" Victor said. He was still not smiling but Alex could see the excitement in his eyes. So she smiled proudly. Victor turned to the other models and instructed them, "Do exactly like she did. Don't waver!" 

He turned back to Alex and grabbed her shoulders. Then, to Alex's surprise, he said to her, "You're my opening girl. Congratulations, my dear."

*****

Alex could barely contain her excitement! The moment she arrived home, she called Ethan and Neesha to share the good news. They had a virtual dance party to celebrate. Each popped a bottle of champagne at their respective locations.

*****

The next few weeks, Alex spent most days rehearsing for the fashion show. She was tired out of her mind. When she reached home, there were days when she fell asleep on her bed without changing or removing her makeup. But she faced the exhausting weeks day by day.

*****

Soon came the day of Victor's Fashion Show. Alex woke up feeling like she had knots in her stomach. She felt like vomiting but she managed to keep down a piece of buttered toast. She needed the energy for that day.

She arrived at the venue early, but it was already buzzing with activities. Workers were arranging chairs, fixing lights, vacuuming the carpet. Alex went straight to the changing rooms. She only had 10 minutes to take it all in before she was pulled into makeup. After makeup was hair. 

When she was done, she was fitted into the first dress she would be wearing. In total, there were 3. 

Alex looked at herself in the full-length mirror. She looked like a very fashionable parrot. She was still fighting the urge to vomit. 

She questioned herself why she was feeling that way? She had done thousands of photoshoots before. She only felt nervous during the first week. All the other times felt like it came naturally for her.

So pretend like this is not your time. Alex thought about it and realised that maybe it might work tricking her mind. She closed her eyes and imagined it. 

London Fashion Week. Paris Fashion Week. New York Fashion Week. She could have done them all. She could have walked for Armani, for Gucci, even for Victoria Secret. She imagined the flashing lights, the people in the audience, maybe Ethan and Neesha in the front seats, applauding her. They looked so proud.

Alex opened her eyes with a new sense of confidence. You can do this.

"People, at your places!"

Alex took her spot at the front of the line. Any minute now, they will pull the curtains and she has to go out there. Someone handed her a fan. Then the curtains were pulled open.

With her head held high, Alex walked out to the runway. Just like in her head, there were flashes of lights from the cameras. Famous, beautiful people lined the hall but Alex kept her eyes forward. She paused at the end of the runway and posed, just like she had been practicing. That's when she saw Paul, sitting in the front, his eyes were on her, mesmerised. 

Alex turned her head and walked back down the runway, meeting the next girl midway. They exchanged looks as they passed, just like they practiced. As she crossed under the curtains, she finally let her breath out and doubled over. She took in a few deep breaths. She didn't even realise that she was holding her breath out there.

"Change, hurry!"

Alex scrambled to the back to change into the next dress. 

The second time she walked the runway, she reminded herself to breathe. She did a different pose at the end. Paul was watching her closely. 

The third time was the easiest. She felt very comfortable and was rather disappointed when she finished the walk. 

Then it was time for the designer to step out on the runway. During rehearsals, Victor insisted that he will walk out there alone to accept the applause. But at the very last minute, he grabbed Alex and a male model, and dragged them out to the runway with him. The audience gave him a standing ovation.

Victor walked with them to the middle of the runway, then he let them go and walked towards the end by himself. Alex and the male model stood there clapping with the crowd. 

Alex caught Paul's eyes. While everyone was looking at Victor, he still had his eyes on her. 

*****

Fashion Week was crazy. Towards the end of it, they delivered everything with minimal disruptions. All the clients were happy.

Naturally, it was a solid reason to have a celebration. The invitations were sent and everyone was excited to party!

Alex planned with Cara and Barry to go to the party together. Alex decided to wear a blue flowery halter neck spring dress, paired with silver heels. After the crazy few weeks she has been through, she was so ready to party properly.

What she wasn't expecting was the location for the party. It was in a nightclub. She hated nightclubs.

Alex hesitated at the entrance. She still remembered what happened the last time she was in a club. It was not pretty. 

"Alex, come on!" Cara called her excitedly. She had her arms wrapped around Barry, who was already halfway into the club.

Okay, maybe just a drink. Alex took a deep breath and followed Cara inside.