Chapter 19

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They drive in silence both sitting in the backseat as the driver takes them through the dim lit city streets.
Jackson felt like shit having been reminded of how it all started with Belle. He desperately wanted her and didn't want Belle to find have any other choice than to agree to the contract and be his. Yet at the same time he was fearful of opening up and bringing another woman into his life. He treated her so badly, forced her hand; why would she want anything more to do with him?
"I'm sorry I did what I did, Belle. If you want out of the contract, consider it done. I don't force you to stay with me," he said with a weak voice.

Belle stared out the window in fascination and awe of seeing the small French bistros, the city lights illuminating the night sky, the Eiffel Tower in all its majesticness. After everything that's happened between them, she realized his forceful ways and bad behavior had stopped a long time ago. She couldn't fathom for the life of her why he'd want to force her into his life but once he had started to open up, she found a man behind a scary monsters mask. A man who'd been broken and hurt by many, and a man whose done nothing since but shower her with happiness. He had saved her life, built her a library, helped her father, and now taken her to Paris. Not out of force or obligation; he asked her to come willingly. And more so, she found herself wanting to be with him, longing to have him by her side, thinking about him constantly; if he'd ask her to chose if she wanted to stay or leave, she'd want to stay and never leave.

As they turned the corner, a simple street sign caught Belle's eye. She remembered the name of the street and what beauty lies ahead.
"Monsieur, please stop the car!" she called to the driver and he silently pulled to the curb.
"What are you doi-" Jackson couldn't finish asking before she stepped out of the car, shutting the door behind her.
"Where are you going?" he shouted after her but she was too focused on her destination to have even heard him. Running across the street, towards the street sign to get to the bridge.
"Belle!" He called out sounding concerned and she finally halted her steps and looked back at him. His face showed concern and sadness and it dawned on her maybe because of what he said, he thought she was leaving him behind completely. She smiled sweetly at him and grabbed his hand tugging him along.
"Come on, it's down this way." She led the way with quick feet, anxious for their arrival until there it was in front of her.
"What is this?" he asked her.
"The Pont des Arts!" she exclaimed. "The Love Lock Bridge!" Slowing her steps taking in the beauty, she dragged her fingers across the millions of padlocks that overwhelmed the rails.
"It's been a tradition since 1804. Couples write their names on the padlock, lock it on the bridge and throw the key into the Seine River below," she glanced up at him feeling his gaze on her and smiled.
"How did you know this was here if you've never been to Paris?" he asked and she turned her head to give him a certain look.
"Books. Of course," he laughed at himself not catching it the first time. Belle shivered feeling the cold pierce her open back and Jackson look off his suit jacket, wrapping it over her shoulders.
"Thank you. I-I'm sorry for what I said back there," Belle bowed her head remorsefully. "About your father being ashamed of you. I think he would be proud."
Jackson rested his forearms on the balcony rail and let out a heavy sigh.
"Who knows if he would be or not. He was only driven by power and money after my mom died. It's my mom who wouldn't be proud," Belle looked over to him wanting to understand his logic.
"She always wanted us to do the city good. Create businesses and opportunities for people. I really lost sight of all that without her being around." Belle placed her hand over his and gave it a gentle squeeze of comfort.
"She would be proud of you, Jack. You've kept the company running and you do help people. You've helped me in so many ways, and my father."
"Can I ask you something?" he turned and looked over at her, bewildered as always.
"For the life of me I just can't understand why...why aren't you already married with a family and all? I mean you love kids and-"
"Why am I not with someone?" she finished his sentence with a slight laugh to her voice but he wanted to express how amazing he thought she really was.
"Well, besides my father and me always keeping to ourselves...I don't know. People find me odd with my head buried in books all the time."
"I don't think you're odd at all. You're a goddamn breath of fresh air compared to every one else in this world." He looked over to her, again wanting to caress her face, just touch her in anyway he could. "You're better than all of them, Belle, I hope you realize that."
She blushed resting her arms over the balcony like Jackson.
"I guess I'm scared really. There's so much build up to the fairy tale romance of falling in love, I just feel once my head is out of the books I read, reality is such a let down. There's so much hate, and evil, and I don't want to get my heartbroken I guess."
She looked over to him and saw the sorrow in his eyes by her perception of the world. She had grown so accustomed to seeing his glum, dismal face, and longed to always see the radiant smile that used to be his mothers.
"You changed that though," her words sparked his heart for a brief moment. "For the first time, I feel reality hasn't let me down so much. Being here, now, for real, is like a dream come true. Seeing this place, the symbolism these locks hold...locking their love forever. It's the most beautiful thing there could ever be, to find a love that strong."

Her words made him doubt himself. He knew Belle was the most amazing thing that had ever stumbled into his life, bringing back the light he had shut out. But what could he possibly offer her? Would he, could be the man of her dreams she so desperately longed for and compared to the perfect Prince Charmings in her stories? He was perfectly imperfect and flawed down to his bones. Perhaps he feared she needed someone better than him. After all, Charlotte had chosen to leave for reasons unknown to him.

"I hate to say it, but you're right," Jackson straightened his stance out with a heavy sigh. "It is only in your story books, Belle. Love like that doesn't exist in this world." She looked up at him disappointingly.
"Why do you say that?" she asked already knowing his rationale on the matter.
"Because it's true." He avoided her wandering eyes as he ran his hands through his hair.
"You really loved her, didn't you?" Belle spoke as faint as a whisper hoping he wouldn't get upset. He looked up to her confused at how she could've even known about Charlotte's existence.
"I...I saw the picture...and the engagement ring," she said with a scrunched face finally admitting to him she had snooped. She was shocked the truth only caused a slight laugh to escape his chest. He should've known a feisty woman like Belle wouldn't abide by the rules of his house.
"A long time ago," he bowed his head opening up to her about the truth of his hidden past.
"What did it feel like?" she asked, wanting to hear about the power of love, from real life perspective and not fantasized storybook.
"Like your heart gets ripped out, alright!" He answered angrily not wanting to go down the road of memory lane of the times he thought Charlotte was happy and loved him just the same.
"She left! Without a word, without a reason, she just left!" he said masking his broken-heartedness behind his anger.
"I don't know what I did or didn't do? If I did something wrong? If she even loved me back enough to spend her life with me? But she left when I needed her most; she was all I had left."
"Are you waiting for her to come back?" Belle asked, feeling a dark pit grow in her stomach.
"I was for a while. I tried looking for her, but...no," he looked up at Belle feeling his soul start to rejuvenate again. "I don't want her back anymore, even if she one day decides to show up."

She realized then, in that moment the real reason he forced her hand into marriage. Whether if it really was about him wanting her necessarily, she didn't know; but she knew it was more about him. Despite all the girls that come and go, deep down he was lonely. He wanted love. Someone to love and someone to love him in return.
"I'm sorry, Jack." Belle lifted herself off the balcony rails and cupped his face in her hand. Turning his head forcing him to look at her sincere eyes.
"I think true love is real. She just wasn't it." Belle kissed him on the cheek and draped his suit jacket around one of his shoulders, sharing the other half and kept herself close to his body.
"Let's go before I lose you to pneumonia."
He wrapped his arm around her under the coat to keep her warm and they walked together along the dim-lit streets back to the car.

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