Behind The Camera

Chapter 15

Pinaghintay ko siya sa salas habang kinuha ko ang kahon kung saan ko linagay ang mga larawan ni Siobhan habang lumalaki siya. Maraming nagkalat sa bahay ng picture frame pero mas marami ang tinago ko sa isang kahon. Maybe I unconsciously did it for him, para kahit wala siya sa tabi ni Siobhan ay makikita niya pa rin.

I sat next to him and opened the first album. Laman niya sa loob ang mga larawan ko noong pinabubuntis ko pa lang si Siobhan from my 7th week up until the week that I gave birth. "This was taken the morning after I arrived here in the island." My eyes were read and I looked tired in the picture.

"You really didn't notice that you were pregnant?" Tumango ako. I mean my stomach still looked the same, it just jut out a bit but it can easily pass off as being full.

"Aside from my swollen feet which at that time I though was due to the heels that I wear, wala na. Hindi talaga sumagi sa isip until Syd pointed it out." Masyado akong focused sa training ko dati kaya siguro hindi ko napansin. "Have I ever told you what made Syd realize that I might be potentially pregnant at that time?"

Umiling siya. "I didn't fit into my gown, Silas. Imagine my surprise when my dress didn't close when it was tailored for me."

"What happened then?" Ito dapat iyong sasabihin ko sa kanya dati kung hindi sana nangyari iyong article.

"I don't remember all the details but I remember Syd pulling me into the bathroom to use pregnancy kits which came out all positive." Probably my mistake that day was doing the test in the studio where there are people around and walls are thin. "Long story short, Beatrice heard us and she told the organization about it."

"I was always concious about my weight, I can't believe I didn't notice the signs." I felt pretty stupid whenever I look back to those moments. Hindi ko talaga napansin ang mga nangyayaring pagbabago sa katawan ko.

"I didn't even have any morning sickness like they show on tv shows." I said, "I did crave kiwis and strawberries so much pero hindi ko rin inisip dahil part pa rin naman kasi siya ng diet ko."

Linipat niya ang mga pahina, tinigtignan ng maayos ang bawat larawan na makikita niya. "Was it tough?"

"Yeah." Inalala ko ang mga nangyari sa akin dati noong pinagbubuntis ko si Siobhan. "I  had to gain weight. You see, the doctor that confirmed my pregnancy said that I had to gain weight. Looking back, I never knew that I was that skinny before. If I didn't gain weight, it would have been risky for Siobhan and I."

I lost my pageant body. I have many stretch marks running along my body. I am not built like before but still, I'm happier.

"You used to eat so little before that I even had to beg for you to eat more." I remember that. He always made sure that I eat more even if I complain about it. Gaining weight is tougher than losing weight. Hirap na hirap ako dati but I wanted to do it for Siobhan.

Binaba niya sa lamesa ang album. He faced me and held my hands. I couldn't pull away even if I want to, it's the emotions swirling on his eyes that compelled me to not move away. "Thank you, Gio. Thank you for raising our daughter well even if I wasn't around."

"Remember our last phone call?" Dahan-dahan kong tinanggal ang kamay ko sa hawak niya. It's getting too much for me to handle so I had to move away. "I was suppose to tell you then but the article happened."

"Gio.. The article-"

Umiling ako to stop him from talking, "I'll listen to your explanation but not now. Siobhan muna tayo ngayon. We're not talking right now as exes but as her parents." Kinuha ko ang flashdrive sa loob ng kahon at naglakad palapit sa tv. Regalo sa amin iyon ni Lola lahot na sinabi ko sa kanya na hindi ko kailangan ang smart tv. Madalas kasing mawalan ng kuryente dito sa isla at tsaka mas gusto ni Siobhan ang maglaro sa labas. "Do you want to watch Siobhan's birth?"