Lunar Dream (Sunnew)

Fifty Three

Hyungseo was quite confused. If anything, Juyeon was the most selfless person he knew. 

"I wanted Hwall to stay by my side because I wanted to feel admired. Feel superior for once." 

Juyeon's voice began to broke little by little. Hyungseo hesitantly squeezed his shoulders.

"Juyeon...."

"I hated Sangyeon, you know." 

Hyungseo froze. Juyeon looked at him again. He approached the artist slowly, trapping him against the railing. 

"Even when I was a child, I was always told to be fight like Sangyeon, act like Sangyeon. At one point, I wonder if Father just wanted a second Sangyeon. The admiration I held for my brother changed to hate. Then Hyunjae came along and to be honest, I was glad. Father wasn't harsh on me like before. But Hyunjae was strong. He didn't mind the insults and looks he received which if I was in his place, I would've crumbled down. I was still the pity child of the family, a weakling...."

Hyungseo panicked as Juyeon leaned closer. Words spewing out as his whole body shook in anger? sadness? A mix of both, Hyungseo decided. Juyeon was confused. 

"But you are not, Juyeon. You are not weak. Your father's in the wrong for wanting you to be like Sangyeon because you can't."

"I know. I didn't mind that before. But now, I want to be like Sangyeon."

Hyungseo furrowed his brows in confusion and tilted his head. Juyeon stared directly at him. 

"Then maybe.... maybe you would look my way." 

"Ju-Juyeon, I-"

"I know you still have feelings for him. But you can't continue. He likes Joonyoung and Joonyoung likes him. You know that."

"....I know."

"But you still like him." 

Hyungseo couldn't think of a reply. His face went red, biting his lips, trying to stifle back a sob. Juyeon watched Hyungseo have conflict with himself. 

"Hyungseo." Juyeon called. 

Once Hyungseo looked up, Juyeon pressed his lips against his. It felt warm, but not right. 

Juyeon pulled back, staring at the teary-eyed Hyungseo. He sighed and wiped away Hyungseo's tears.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I hurt you unintentionally." Juyeon said. 

Hyungseo shook his head, trying to hold back his sobs.

"No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can't be decisive. But Juyeon, you are a great guy."

Before Hyungseo could continue, Juyeon stood back straight. He averted Hyungseo's gaze and faked a tired yawn. 

"I should head back to Hyunjae's room now. Good night." Juyeon said. 

He gave a tight smile and walked away. He didn't want to hear what Hyungseo was going to say. 

Because he already knew.

Chanhee was walking back to his room when he bumped into Haknyeon on the way. He quirked a brow at Haknyeon who looked at him sheepishly.

"Feeling better now?" Chanhee asked. Haknyeon nodded rubbing his neck.

"Yeah. Sorry for earlier."

"No need. We all got different ways to cope. Go rest up."

"Chanhee, I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have acted up like that. I know you guys are feeling worse since he's your brother but instead I made a mess."