PERFECT FLAWS

Hope

Uncomfortable silence seemed to be trapped in the car with us. Sheilagh sat by the other side of the window with Micheal sitting between us in Principal Peters' SUV.

Tension raked my entire being and fear wrapped around my neck, paralysing my voice box. I tapped my feet rhythmlessly on the floor of the car, the only sound breaking the mixture of fear and silence permeating the air.

'You okay man?' Micheal asked, eyeing me warily. Sheilagh looked visibly disturbed, her eyes restlessly scanning everywhere but at me. Her fingers never left her long braids and she wrapped and unwrapped them round her chubby fingers. I wonder what was on her mind.

I opened my mouth to speak but no words were formed. I managed a nod, tearing my face away from his intense scrutiny towards the buildings whizzing past us in a flurry blur. By the time we arrived, I was a nervous wreck. Three pair of worried eyes turned to face me and I felt my palm grow sweaty despite the air conditioner blasting with cool air.

'Thompson, do you need some time?' Principal Peters asked.

'Y-yes M-ma... I-'

'It's okay if you need more time Tom.' Sheilagh spoke softly, her voice barely rising above a whisper.
'Micheal and I would go ahead... If that's okay with you Ma.' She asked principal Peters.

Principal Peters replied with a slow, wary nod, her eyes saying more than I could understand.

Sheilagh barely glanced at me while Micheal gave me a pat on my shoulder before stepping out of the car towards the tall hospital building.

The silence that followed was highly awkward, which did absolutely nothing to make me feel better. It was so uncomfortable being alone with Principal Peters that I could barely sit still.
I turned to watch as Sheilagh and Micheal accended the flight of stairs and as they disappeared inside, Principal Peters spoke.

'Thompson....'
My head snapped towards Principal Peters, stunned by the softness with which she called my name.

'You're such a good soul...and I want to thank you for being a friend to Carol. It would have been worse if you weren't there.'

The pang in my heart intensified and hot, traitorous tears escaped my eyes.

'What if she does make it? What if she... she's...' I couldn't bring myself to complete the statement. It was like a dam was broken within me as sobs raked my chest, gushing out in torrents. Principal Peters reached out and took my hand in hers without a word.

I felt embarrassed crying in front of her, but when I looked up, her eyes screamed understanding, like she knew exactly what I was going through.

'Tom....' She began. 'I understand how painful it is to...to watch a loved one go through pain...' She looked away from me and inhaled a shaky breath. I could tell she was trying hard not to cry. When she looked at me, her eyes were almost crimson, an effect of holding back so much pain. I couldn't behold that much pain and I cowered, looking down at my intertwined fingers.

'Even if she doesn't make it, be grateful...be grateful for the good times and the beautiful memories with her.'

My heart constricted with pain and although that was a bitter truth, I shut my eyes tight, trying not to imagine the worse.

No. Carol is a fighter. She would survive this...she just has to...

I nodded, praying earnestly in my heart for a miracle.

'Are you ready?'

I shut my eyes again, Drinking in the cold air and exhaled as slowly as I could, letting the tension go with every release.

'Yes Ma.' I whispered, my gaze lingering on the hospital building once more.

We stepped out of the car and the hot rays from the sun hit me so unexpectedly, I flinched.

I watched Principal Peters, looking at her in a new light. I never knew she had an affectionate side and I was glad to have gotten a glimpse of it.

'Come Tom, let's go.' Principal Peters beckoned, with something resembling a warm smile on her lips. Or maybe it was just my eyes, because it dissappeared as quickly as I blinked.

We were at St. Johns, the hospital Carol was admitted. I wiped my sweaty palms on my trousers, giving the grand hospital a wary glance before falling into step after Principal Peters. Micheal and Sheilagh were already sitting at the waiting room and I joined them as principal Peters spoke to the receptionist.

'Hey.'

It was Micheal, handing me a bottle of cold water with outstretched arms. Micheal and I weren't what you'd call friends or even acquaintances. We'd never really had the chance to be anything, so I didn't expect this kind gesture.

Sheilagh sat at his other side, looking everywhere but at us. She had been quiet and withdrawn since the Nancy-Carol issue. The more I tried to make her open up to me, the more she withdrew and I didn't know what to do anymore. So much was on my mind and I honestly didn't know what to feel about her attitude. I looked away from her towards the nurses wheeling a patient into the hospital on a stretcher.

'Want the water or not?' Micheal asked, one eyebrow raised and his small eyes scrutinizing me again. I couldn't tell if he was upset or not, but I quickly retrieved the bottle of water from his hand and thanked him.

I corked it open, letting the cool spring water rush into my mouth and calm my twitching nerves.

I felt immensely better. The water was so refreshing that I had to thank Micheal again.

He nodded, and we fell back into silence, watching nurses and doctors rolling patients to and fro. Who knew so much accidents happened in a day?

'Gosh, this place is depressing.' Micheal announced as a lady ran into the hospital with her child in her arms, tears rolling uncontrollably down her red eyes as she screamed for the nurses to help her. I felt my heart break and I had to look away from Micheal to wipe my eyes as a betraying tear escaped from them.

'You have no idea.' I replied.

'You think?' Micheal chuckled sickly. I've never heard a laughter filled with so much pain and sadness. I realized I didn't know this guy, Micheal. I had always seen him from afar as this perfect guy who has it all going for him, but watching him at that moment, it was obvious but he sure has a lot he has gone through that wasn't pleasant.

'I-I dunno man, I just... The sooner we leave here, the better.' I sighed, staring at the painting hanging on the wall opposite me.

'Typical.' Sheilagh scoffed.

'What do you mean?' Micheal asked.
My head snapped towards the sound of her voice and a felt a tug, a familiar tug in my heart. Somehow I still find myself longing for her after everything.

Gosh, what has this girl done to me?

She sat reclined on her chair, her arms crossed over her chest as she stared straight ahead.

'Where there is life, there is hope.' She read out loud. ' Typical to have this hanging on a hospital wall I guess.'

I followed her gaze and saw the words written in bright colours with flowers surrounding the letters.

'Too cliché?' Micheal asked. Sheilagh opened her mouth to speak, then shut it again, answering with a shrug before reclining into her seat.

'I don't think it is. I think it's something we all should be conscious of.' I found myself saying.

'But sometimes, the living are hopeless. Does that make them dead?' Sheilagh's question hung unanswered in the silence but weighed heavy on my mind.

A living man without hope is like a walking corpse.