Through The Dark

Chapter 21

Little rant about the song. This is How to Save a Life by The Fray. It is just amazing!! Like it's really good. Also this is a song I dedicate to all those people who think ending stuff is the only way. It is not. Never give up, no matter what shit life throws at you. Hope you enjoy.

Liam's POV:

I knew something was wrong by the way Nathan was acting today when he came to our house today. It was quite strange. Even though he was smiling and joking around with us, I just felt that it was fake. As though he was masking his pain and misery. Later, when I went to the kitchen, Em came behind me and told me the same thing. She also told me that he was limping slightly, which raised some serious red flags. Did his dad get to him again? I hope not.

But as I noticed him more, I knew that something was definitely wrong and that his dad had definitely gotten to him. The way he would slightly wince whenever he would laugh a bit too hard, or how he would get up slowly or would clutch his abdomen and rub it from time to time. I was abused enough to recognise the signs. Later on, when he left the house, I followed him. I didn't want Emmy to go out in the dark. Besides she was tired, so I took the job upon myself.

Seeing him over there, on the edge, with a cigarette in one hand...It was painful to see him so. He was deep in his thoughts and I didn't want to interrupt him, so I stayed at a safe distance from him, but was close enough to take action in case he decided to do something stupid. He was standing in the same position, stoic and expressionless for a long time. As much as I wanted to interrupt him, I didn't want to shock him. He was already, quite literally on the edge, and the shock may cause him to slip down.

But after some time, he swung his left leg, which was now dangling over the edge. My instincts kicked in and I immediately rushed to help him. Before his other leg could swing and he would drop down, I quickly caught his hand and pulled him back. We both were panting heavily. At first I thought that may be it was a decision made in the spur of the moment, maybe he was making a mistake, maybe it was an accident. But he lifted his face and as soon as his hazel eyes made contact with my blue ones, I immediately realised that it wasn't a mistake or accident. He had decided it. His eyes, which were usually brimming with emotions were emotionless today. They were just an organ used to see, not a way to read a person's emotions.

Realisation soon hit him, tears brimmed in his eyes. I brought him away from the edge and sat down with him on the floor of the roof. I then put a hand on his shoulder, to show him that I was right here. I think this did the trick, because he opened the dam of his heart. Actually, scratch that. The whole dam broke down. The walls that he had built up so high, keeping all the pain inside him, finally cracked under the pressure and collpased. He sobbed endlessly, nerve-wracking sobs. My tshirt was completely soaked wet, but I didn't mind, not in one bit. As long as he would not bottle up his feelings, anything was okay.

Not long before, I used to see Nathan only as Emmy's friend, but as time progressed by, I started seeing him as more than that. He became a brother to me, a younger brother whom I wanted to protect at all costs. I saw a lot of myself in him, and there were a lot of similarities between him and me. I don't know what it was, but I felt this fierce wave of protectiveness when it came to him. It was something that I thought I would feel only for Em, but I was wrong, so wrong. I had the same type of feelings for Nathan.

But now, seeing him like this, it made my heart shatter. Seeing him like this, I felt a sort of emptiness inside me. I thought I was helping him, that he was gonna be okay, but I was wrong. Today I realised that, somewhere along the path, I lost my brother. I wanted to believe the fact so much, that he was alright, he was fine. I was living within that bubble and was so absorbed in it, that I failed to notice the fact that he was in fact not okay.

Somewhere along the line, I lost him. Day by day, he was slowly withering away and none of us noticed it at all. I feel that I failed him as a brother. And this realisation hit more hard than a ton of bricks. It was as though he didn't want to be here, among any of us anymore. Wanting to end the pain so desperately, he didn't find any other way except this. Wanting to find the finality to things, he did this. Many people say that suicide is not an option, but let me tell you something: for people like us, it is the only option.

We all are messed up in our own ways. But some people are more than the others. For some, the biggest problems they face is having to choose between chocolate and vanilla ice cream. But to others, it is having doubts as to whether you will stay alive today or not. For some, choosing your eye colour is tough. But to others, hiding the coloured wrists is tough. For some, the decisions they take, the words they speak may not affect them a lot, other than a detention. But for others, it may cost them their life, love, dreams and whatnot. But that's life. And we must face it.

It is our decision though whether we face it alone or not. And I choose to face and fight by Nathan and Em. I will bring them back from the edge.

(A/ N) :Hey guys. So this is the 21st chapter. Thank God Liam saved him. Also in case y'all didn't know, suicide is NEVER the option or the solution. So, what did you think about Liam's thoughts? About him accepting Nathan as his brother? About Em observing that there was something wrong with Nathan? Do let me know your thoughts.

Don't be a silent reader. Vote and comment!!

Happy reading!!! :)