Phan (Trigger Warning)

21 - (Dan)

DANS PoV

I, once again, am rudely awoken by one of my most prized possessions, my phone. Grumbling I flail around trying to locate it, trying to decide whether I should hit snooze or not and if I hit snooze how many times am I really going to hit snooze. Still stuck in my internal debate, which seems to be happening every school day, my phone stops and silence fills my room.

"Ummm, why did you do that?" I question my phone as I sit up trying to both locate the inanimate object and realise it just randomly decided to stop the whole alarm thing. I finally locate it and pull the charger out of it and calmly collapse back onto my bed, which is short lived when I take one look at my phone as it lights up once again.

'Phil: Sorry, I shouldn't have called... don't worry about me I'm fine :) sorry see you later today at school'

I unlock my phone and realise it wasn't my alarm that was going off, because I still have over an hour before it is set, it was Phil calling me, but why was he calling? I go into my messages as I have a few unread ones and see that they are all from Phil.

'Hey Dan are you awake?'

'I was just reading your letter...'

'I don't know what to do...'

'I can't not do this and I've never had someone that said that they want me to talk to them before so I thought maybe we could try it?'

'I assume you are still asleep who wakes up early on a Monday morning well except for a freak like me but I don't know if you were being serious or not can I call you??'

'Ugh what do I do? I might call you and if you don't pick up then who cares'

I sit just reading the messages over and over before I realise what Phil is going to do and that he tried calling 16 whole minutes ago.

"Oh my god, don't just sit there call him back you idiot" I practically shout at myself, as I go into missed calls and click on Phils name.

"Pick up, pick up, pick up" I basically chant to myself as I listen to the phone ring, waiting for Phil to, well obviously, pick up his freaking phone. The ringing stops and I take my phone away from my ear to look at the screen, the little numbers that say how long you've been on the phone for are counting up so either he picked up or it went to voicemail.

"Phil?" I ask after putting the phone back to my ear.

"Yeah, umm hi Dan. Sorry I called, I didn't mean to wake you up, I bet you were asleep and I'm sorry I didn't mean to I just didn't know what to do and that letter you gave me just said that I could talk to you and yeah and I don't know what I was thinking I am so sorry for waking you up I promise I will never do it again"

"Phil, breathe it's ok. Did you do anything?" I cut Phil off because he sounds so panicked and like if I don't cut him off soon he will never stop apologising and he really doesn't have to apologise.

"I umm..." Phil just trails off, I put my phone on speaker and place it on my bed.

"Hey Phil, so this is what's going to happen" I say as I start looking through the pile of clothes on the ground for anything that looks clean.

"I am going to get dressed and ready for school, you are going to do the same and I will meet you out the front of your house in like half an hour and I am going to give you a lift to school." I tell him as I pull on some clothes.

"You don't have to do that and anyways school doesn't start for ages" Phil rushes out and I can hear his breathing start to fasten.

"I know but I figure we can hang out a little before school starts, you better get ready cause I'm going to leave soon, so see you then" I say, not really giving Phil a choice in the matter.

"Ok see you" Phil replies extremely quietly.

I tell my mum that I am going to school early to work on my project and I make my way to Phils place, sending him a text when I get to his.

I don't take my eyes away from Phils front door until I see him, then my eyes follow him, noticing the way he is holding his sleeves in his hands and pulling at them non stop.

"How was your weekend? Sorry I didn't text you I got sorta busy with family shit" I ask Phil.

"Pretty boring" he simply replies.

I don't say anything else to Phil during the drive, mainly because I am trying to work out what to say to Phil when we get to school, which happens to be right now and surprise I still have no idea. I open my door and motion for Phil to do the same, once both the doors are shut I lock my car and lead Phil to the same spot by the oval we sat at only last week. I sit on the bench facing the oval and tap next to me so Phil will sit there and not on the other side. Phil slides on, sitting on my left and I slowly turn to face him,

"Can I have your arm please?" I ask him

"It's fine" he tries and he starts to fiddle with his sleeve.

"You know I won't judge you" I tell him slowly reaching out and grabbing his hands, I gently separate his right hand off of his sleeve and place it on my leg. I look up at Phil to make sure I'm not crossing any lines or making him uncomfortable, he doesn't object or look like I'm crossing a line he just looks sort of embarrassed. I flip his left hand over so it is facing up and I slowly and gently start to roll up his sleeve, however I don't have to roll it up far before I notice what looks like fresh, bright red cuts across his forearm. I take a deep breath in and roll Phils sleeve back down,

"Can I ask why?" I ask him, trying not to protrude too much as I try to make eye contact with him, he looks up at me, and I can clearly see tears starting to well up in his eyes.

"I don't know, I'm sorry" Phil starts to sound stressed.

"Don't be sorry, we can beat this and there was no way it is going to happen over a weekend" I try to comfort him, although I really don't know how comforting I am being.

"We?" He looks back up at me with confusion in his eyes.

"Yes we, we are friends now Phil and there is no way in hell that I am letting one of my friends deal with this alone. You did well trying to call me this morning, I'm sorry I didn't answer maybe if I had you wouldn't have done this" I motion towards his arm.

"Dan, no, it's not your fault, please don't blame yourself. You don't have to take on all my problems, or worry about me I will be fine" Phil tries to convince me but I know there is no way that is anywhere close to the truth, I can tell he needs me and I am starting to think I need him too.

*AN
This only takes up like an hour or so of time but I wanted to show like the first slip up? And Dan being all supportive and stuff and the fact that Phil tried to call Dan I don't know... I am so sorry I haven't uploaded in a while and I'm sorry if this is bad but I have had very little free time and now I think I am going to go sleep for a week cause I seriously need to catch up on it lol.
Thanks everyone for all the votes, reads and comments it really means soooo much to me and I just really want to give each of you a huge hug or something to say thanks.
I know there is something else I wanted to say but I am like so close to falling asleep so yeah... Hahah. But if anyone ever wants to talk I don't care how tired or anything I feel as soon as I see your message I will reply and try to help or just have a chat if you want and I promise I will never judge anyone <3

Also this is dedicated to Hanah_lucy_ because she always manages to give me a kick up the butt when I need it and I just read her other story 'My Fatal Flaw' and it is amazing so go check that out!!!
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