Criminal Minds One Shots

SpencerReidxReader Why am I never enough

They left again. Everyone always left you. Your parents were there physically but you weren't close to your dad and your mom didn't care about you. You never felt good enough for anyone. Spencer knew this, his one goal for your relationship was to make you know you were worth something. That was going well for awhile before one of your friends suddenly stopped responding to your texts and you knew they had the time and were able to.

"Why am I never enough Spence" I sob into his arms.

We're sitting in our bed and he's holding me.

"Why does everyone leave me" I shout

"I'm so sorry Pretty Baby you are enough I don't know why people are leaving"

"Everyone always leaves"

"I'm not leaving Y/n I promise" Spencer tries to reassure me.

But I was already starting to get hysterical.

"NO" I scream and start anxiously shaking my head "NO NO NO NO" I cry out "ITS NOT FAIR ITS NOT FAIR ALL I DO IS GIVE PEOPLE EVERYTHING AND THEY LEAVE ME. WHAT DID I DO SO WRONG TO DESERVE THIS"

I start to try and get out of Spencers grip that just recently tightened. Flailing my arms all around to try to get out. But Spencer only tightened his grip on me more.

"No Baby it's okay you're okay" Spencer speaks in a soft calming voice

"LET GO OF ME PLEASE LET GO OF ME" I start hitting his chest trying to get him off of me.

"Y/n please you're okay" Spencer speaks in a still soft voice but now it's breaking. Tears are streaming down his face.

"Please just let me go" I sob loudly as I rest my head in the crook of his neck.

He wraps his arms around my back, pulling me into him.

"Never"

After about an hour of just sitting in silence, trying to compose myself. I realize what I did. I pull back and cradle my beautiful boys face in my hands.

"I'm so sorry Spencer" I look away and lick my lips "I hit you" I say as my lip quivers "I cant believe I fucking hit you I'm so sorry I just" I try to come up with an explanation but there is no excuse for what I did. "There's nothing I can say to make it okay just know I'm so so sorry and I love you"

"Hey hey pretty girl" Spencer brings my attention back to him instead of my racing thoughts.

"I don't blame you baby you were in severe emotional distress. You got scared and you flight or fight responses were triggered. You just happened to be fight"

"I'm still very sorry"

"It's okay" Spencer thinks for a minute before speaking again "You know what would make up for it"

My face lights up at the chance to make this up to Spencer "What"

"If you let me hold you while we fall asleep"

We both smile and I gently kiss him before whispering okay. We both tell each other we love each other before falling asleep.

Hi i'm so sorry this is terrible I was crying when I wrote this so it's not my best work but i hope u enjoyed anyway