Always You

22

Abala ako ngayon sa paggawa ng strawberry shortcake. Naisipan ko kasing mag-bake na lang for my birthday. Yaya Ines is helping me with the standard mixer, while Iggy is rinsing the strawberries we bought yesterday from the grocery. I asked mom for the recipe kasi nagustuhan ko talaga iyon, as well as the recipe on her baked chicken, nagustuhan din kasi iyon ni Iggy noong nagbakasyon kami sa Japan.


Hindi rin naman bumisita si dad today, so most likely kami lang dito sa bahay ang mag-cecelebrate ng birthday ko. 1 pm na nang naglunch kami. Bumisita din si Olly sa bahay para ibigay iyong gift niya, and we chatted for awhile. Kahit hindi na ako grounded, iniwasan ko na lang ang pumunta kina Olly. Baka kasi magalit ulit si dad.

"Andi, sabi ni kuya umuwi na raw si Zeke", she whispered.

We are now in the living room at nagmemeryenda. Nabuhayan ako ng loob.

"Kelan siya dumating Olly?" I lowered my voice. Baka kasi may makarinig.

"According to kuya, last week pa raw dumating si Zeke."

Nagulat ako sa sinabi niya. Bakit hindi niya ako tinawagan o sinabihan man lang? I asked Olly kung bakit ngayon lang sinabi ng kuya niya, but she told me na ngayon lang din daw nila nalaman na nasa Pilipinas na si Zeke.

Imbes na maging masaya sa balita, nasaktan ako at nagalit. Iniiwasan na ba ako ni Zeke? Boyfriend ko pa rin ba siya? Dahil ni pangangamusta galing sa kanya ay wala akong natanggap. Kumirot ang puso ko bigla, at napaluha ako.

"Oy, Andi." Olly comforted me. "Huwag ka ng umiyak. Birthday mo pa naman ngayon."

Mas lalong tumulo ang mga luha ko. Bakit ganoon si Zeke? Alam ba niyang may naghihintay at umaasa sa kanya?

Natigilan kami ng pumasok si dad. Tumaas ang kilay niya ng makita kami. Tumayo naman agad si Olly at binati siya.

"Good afternoon po Tito."

She suddenly hugged me. "Huwag ka ngang umiyak Andi. Hindi pa naman sure kung mag-aaral ako sa Amerika." She patted my back.

Iniwan din kami ni dad, at nang umakyat na si dad sa taas ay bigla ko siyang tinanong.

"Sa Amerika ka na mag-aaral?"

Kumindat sa akin si Olly at bumulong, "Joke lang 'yon ano ba? Yung daddy mo kasi nakakatakot."

Akala ko ay mag-aaral siya sa ibang bansa. Malulungkot talaga ako kapag nangyari iyon.

Maya't maya, umuwi na rin siya. Yaya Airene told me that I need to prepare dahil magdi-dinner daw kami nila daddy at Iggy sa labas. I went to my room to change my clothes.

We went to an exclusive restaurant in BGC. Nang makapasok kami sa restaurant ay nakita ko si kuya Tony na naghihintay sa amin.

He greeted me a happy birthday and gave me and Iggy a gift. Then, we sat down and waited since kuya Tony ordered our food ahead of time. It surprised me that kuya's here and celebrating with us. First time din kasing sumabay si kuya sa birthday dinner ko.

The waiter served our food and we started eating. Kuya asked me what course I would want in college, and I told him that I will pursue architecture. Dad said that it would be better to take a business course, but kuya supported my decision. He also said that mas maganda na magkaroon ako ng sariling identity, makakatulong din naman ako sa family business, gustuhin ko man o hindi.

The dinner went well. Si kuya ang laging nagsasalita sa amin. Ngayon ko lang din nakitang ganoon siya. Hindi pala siya formal palagi. He would even crack jokes na bentang-benta sa amin ni Iggy. His funny antics loosen up the grip that I have for him. Sa isip ko, sana nagkaroon kami ng time ni Iggy na makasama siya noong panahon na wala sina mom and dad. Masaya siguro na may kuya kang masasandalan during those hard times.

Before kami umalis ng table para umuwi, dad said na may importante siyang sasabihin sa amin. Kuya's face turned sour, as what I've seen. He told dad na next time na lang, but dad just ignored him.

"My marriage to your mom is now on the process of annulment."

What he told me didn't surprise me at all. All this time hindi pa pala sila annulled? I thought they are already separated. So that means they are still married?

He was waiting for us to comment pero kahit si Iggy ay nakayuko lang din ktulad ko.

"Andrea?"

I looked at dad and said, "I thought hiwalay na kayo ni mom."

"We are living seperately but our marriage is not yet annulled."

Kaya ba pinayagan na kami ni dad na magbakasyon sa Japan dahil sa annulment? Ano-ano pa kaya ang mga conditions nilang dalawa para makuha ang mga gusto nila? I got hurt by the thought of it.

Nag-aalala ako ngayon kay Iggy. Ano kaya ang iniisip niya? How can dad be so cruel to tell us about this? Hindi ba niya naiisip na nasasaktan kami?

Kung nasasaktan ako ngayon, I know mas lalo na ang kapatid ko. He was devastated when they separated. He just turned five at that time. He doesn't deserve this or any of these.

So, anong mangyayari ngayon na on-process na ang annulment nila? Magdidiwang ba kami? May mababago ba? Mag-aasawa ba ulit si dad?

"Dad, let's call this a night. Pagod na ang mga bata." Kuya broke the silence.

He guided us to the door. Naramdaman kong hindi rin kumportable si kuya sa sinabi ni dad.

"I'm sorry. Dad can sometimes be brutally honest", he mumbled.

Ito rin kaya ang naramdaman ni kuya when dad married our mom before? This kind of pain na wala kang choice kundi tanggapin na lang. Yung sakit na hindi mo matatakasan? Yun bang masakit na sa loob pero hindi mo mailabas? In my mind I am blaming dad. But I'm too afraid to do that.

***

I was surprised to see kuya Tony attend my graduation. It was so sweet of him to give me a bouquet of flowers as congratulatory gift for graduating in high school. I introduced him to Olly's parents and pumasok na kami sa gymnasium where our graduation ceremony would take place. I also saw Raine's parents na kausap ang mga magulang ni Kiel.

At dahil 250 students kaming gagraduate, matagal natapos ang ceremony. It was a bittersweet goodbye for my classmates, ang iba kasi sa amin ay mag-aaral na sa ibang bansa. We took pictures together with our teachers and batchmates, while kuya Tony and dad were waiting outside the gym. Hinayaan nila akong i-enjoy ang graduation ko.

Busy kaming nagpapa-picture sa lahat ng mga teachers namin sa stage when something caught my attention. A familiar figure is watching me from afar. I immediately recognize him when he took off his cap.

He was wearing a black V-necked shirt and ripped black jeans. Hindi ko alam kung anong magiging reaction ko, pero ang lakas ng kaba ko sa dibdib. I didn't know what to do.

Masaya ako dahil nakita ko na siya pero bakit nasasaktan ako? Was it because he never called me for more than 3 months? Or was it because he was just standing there looking at me and never approached me?

But he was looking at me smiling and I can see longing from his eyes. Napansin ko rin na mas naging matured na ang mukha niya ngayon, his hair's unruly and has small beard growing on his jawline. His body is more built than before, like he has been working out on it.

Surprisingly, I didn't smile, because something was holding me back. I was upset. Really upset. Naputol ang titigan namin nang hinila ako ni Olly at nagpa-picture kami kina Raine.

Tiningnan ko ulit 'yong lugar kung saan ko nakita si Zeke, pero wala na siya roon.

Since nagkita na kami, I was hoping that he would contact me as soon as possible. I was hoping that he could at least give me reasons as to why he didn't even bother telling me his whereabouts. I may sound too clingy but I think I have the right to know, given the fact that he is still my boyfriend. Or is he? But days went by at wala pa rin akong balita sa kanya.