Always You

11

"Sure ka na hindi ka na sasabay sa akin pauwi?", Olly asked. Sinusundo na siya ng driver nila. I told her na susunduin din ako ng driver namin. Maagang sinundo si Olly ngayon. Bigla kasing tumawag ang mommy niya na magkakaroon sila ng family dinner meeting.

Nagpaalam na si Olly. Habang hinihintay ko ang aking sundo, may tumawag sa akin. I looked at my phone, and saw Zeke's name on the screen. Hindi ko siya sinagot. Nagtatampo talaga ako sa kanya at ayaw ko munang makipag-usap sa kanya. I felt betrayed and left. Kung gusto niya yung Trisha na iyon, bakit ba siya nagkukunwaring kunin ang loob ko? Hindi na man pala siya seryoso sa akin.

Ilang araw din na hindi ko sinasagot ang mga tawag niya. Hindi rin ako nagrereply sa kanya. Nasasaktan ako, kasi umaasa ako. Akala ko totoo yung ipinapakita at ipinaparamdam sa akin. Hindi pala.

I ignored his calls, at ibinalik ko ang phone sa bag. Bahala siya! Eh doon sa Trisha na iyon! I told Olly about what happened, sumang-ayon na man siya at nag-advice na hindi ko na dapat i-eentertain si Zeke.

Malapit nang mag-alas singko ng hapon pero wala rin ang sundo ko. Nagutom ako bigla sa kahihintay, and I thought about eating an ice cream. I decided to go out from the school campus to buy one. May malapit na convenience store a few blocks away from the school. Tatawag din naman yung driver kung dumating na siya. When I got inside the store, I directly went to the ice cream section. Pinipili ko pa kung anong flavor ang kakainin ko. Napatingin ako bigla sa likuran ko nang may kumausap sa akin.

"Why aren't you answering my calls or text?"

I turned and saw Zeke standing beside me. He was in his casual wear, plain white shirt, jeans and a cap. I froze. I couldn't utter a word at first pero I suddenly realized why I didn't reply to him at yung nangyari two weeks ago. Hindi ako nakatiis at inilabas ko ang aking sama ng loob sa kanya.

"So how was YOUR date? Did you enjoy it?" I was asking him without looking at him. My eyes went back to the ice cream freezer.

"I see", he crossed his arms. "Is that the reason why you're acting like this?"

I continued ignoring him. Bumibilis na rin ang tibok ng puso ko sa galit. I wanted to shout and cry. Am I transprent enough for him to know what I'm feeling right now? He was still following me, but never asked another question. Hindi na ako bumili ng ice cream, nawalan ako ng gana. Lumabas ako ng store at naglakad pabalik ng school. I stopped walking and turned around. Tama nga ako. Nakasunod pa rin si Zeke sa akin.

"Sinusundan mo ako?!", I hissed.

"I'm sorry". That's all he could say. And for me, it's not enough. I want an explanation. I want to know if natuloy ba ang date nila. I want to know if all of those words and actions were true. Pero hindi siya nagsalita. He just stared at me. To my disappointment, I burst into tears. Hindi ko kasi macontrol ang feelings ko right now, nagagalit ako but at the same time I want him to comfort me. Then I felt his arms engulfing me into his body. Mas lalo akong umiyak.

"Sshh", pinapakalma niya ako, "I'm really sorry if I hurt your feelings, Andi."

We stayed like that until sa tumahan na ako sa pag-iyak.

"We didn't go out on a date. That's not gonna happen." We are sitting right now outside the convenience store. Hindi ko pa rin siya kayang tingnan. "I only said it since mom's been pushing that ever since bumalik ako dito. If I've known that it will hurt you, sana hindi ko sinabi ang mga iyon. I'm reall sorry Andi."

I stared at his eyes. I can see how sorry he was. Feeling ko iiyak na naman ako.

"I can't stand seeing you cry like this." He reached for my hand and his expression softened. "It won't happen again."

I just nod. There are so many questions that I would want to ask, but I hesitated. Tumawag ang driver namin at inihatid na ako ni Zeke pabalik ng school. Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko.

"Wait Zeke!" I stopped him. Kumunot ang noo niya. "Baka may makakita at saka yung driver namin-"

"So what?" he interrupted. Nakita niya siguro na hindi ako kumportable sa paghawak niya. He let go of my hand. Ayaw ko din talaga na makita ako ng mga teachers na may kasamang lalaki, at isumbong ako kay dad.

"Do you trust me Andi?" he asked.

Do I trust him? I don't know, but I believe him. I believe that he's telling the truth. Pero nag-aalangan na ako sa salitang trust. Sabi kasi ni Olly, all boys will say anything to gain your trust, even if it means telling a lie.

"I-i need to go Zeke", pag-iiwas ko sa sagot niya.

"I am serious about my intentions of pursuing you Andi. I want to court you."

Nabigla ako sa sinabi nya. I didn't answer back. Umalis na ako at iniwan ko siya. Tamang-tama din kasi nakita ko ang kotse ng sundo ko. Dali-dali akong pumasok sa backseat and I turned off my phone. Baka kasi tumawag si Zeke.

***

"May ikukwento sana ako kagabi sa iyo kaso naka-off yung phone mo. Anong nangyari?," Olly asked. Napansin kong medyo bad mood si Olly today.

"Ano ba iyong ikukwento mo?", pag-iiba ko ng topic. We are eating our lunch at the canteen.

"Kuya got his girlfriend pregnant. Kaya pala may dinner kahapon. We met her family", she boringly said.

"Buntis agad? Ang bilis na man ata?" I got surprised. Olly's face shifted to an irritating look.

"Ewan ko ba kasi yan kay kuya. Hindi nag-iisip! Hmp! Imagine Andi, magpapakasal na sila as soon as possible!" Hindi na maitago ni Olly ang disappointment sa mukha niya. "At first, ayaw pa ng girl magpakasal kay kuya. But mommy insisted. Even kuya begged. The nerve of that girl! I really hate her!"

I tried to calm Olly. She must be hurting right now. Naisip ko baka natatakot siya na hindi na sa kanya mapupunta ang attention ng family niya, na may kahati na siya.

"Well, you can't do anything now. Andiyan na yan eh." I tried to comfort her. "Just support kuya Paolo, I think that's what he needs right now."

Sasabihin ko sana kay Olly ang nangyari kahapon pero I chose not to. Ayaw ko ng dumagdag pa sa mga problema niya. Next time na lang siguro, kapag okay na siya.