Jily: Soulmates

Chapter 14: The fight

TOUCH- Sleeping At Last

LILY POV:

"Lily?" I heard James say, in a thoughtful voice as I entered the common room.

My heart skipped a beat. He was the only one awake in there as it was so late.

What was he playing at?

"What did you say?" I said softly turning around, breathless.

"Li- nothing." He said, and I saw his eyes pleading, and his head fighting to not turn from my gaze.

Something was wrong with him.

I saw it in his eyes.

Everyone else, including the girl he was snogging before, were all asleep everywhere after the party. It just hit me. The marauders didn't drink at all. They avoided that for the full moon. I was starting to get worried. Very worried. What if Remus needed James- however he would need him? What if James played an important part in Remus's- Well-being. What if, whatever happened to James forced them to leave him here? I needed to reach James. Wherever he was.

"James?" I said sweetly.

His head jerked around is exasperation, and this time I couldn't even read his expression.

He was about smile, but something didn't let him. My heart was beating faster. What happened? Did he just forget about me? Lose interest in me? Did I not make him smile anymore, as I did just, TWO HOURS AGO? Someone's opinions cannot be changed as quickly as in 2 hours. Especially James's.

"Do you know where Rem- Moony, is?" I asked him sweetly.

Now both of his expressions didn't want to tell me.

They were all hiding something. I can't deal with this alone.

I need the sane James here.

I need him to fight whatever is happening.

He stared at me as I edged closer to him.

"Lily!" He yelled, almost as if he had just breathed for the first time.

I started to tear up. He was obviously fighting something. Some sort of spell- or worse- a curse.

"Yes?" I said sitting closer to him.

He was shaking his head vigorously and trying to rip himself away from looking blankly in front of him, to look at me, but something wasn't letting him.

"James," I said softly, letting out an emotion in my voice that I knew he would recognize.

"I can't do it," He said almost as if he was gasping for air.

My tears were about to fall down my cheeks until I remembered something.

It can't be. Who would've done it? Why? Just to get at me?

I gasped out loud.

I put the pieces together, as I usually would, but I put them together too quickly. Information was flooding my brain entering from all directions. When did he do it? Why did he do it? What did he think he would gain from doing it? Why me? Why couldn't he leave me alone? James saw the shock on his head and nodded, staring at me.

"I don't need your company," He said coldly, his mood changing.

"No Lily I-" he immediately started, but couldn't finish the sentence.

"James, look at me," I said, grabbing his hand and turning his head towards me.

Our eyes met, but he was still in pain.

"Fight it. Please," I said.

He stared into my eyes for a few seconds, and I thought it was going to work, but he soon turned his face around in disgust, as if he couldn't keep staring at me.

I walked away, and paced up and down the space near a window, staring at the full moon, almost begging it for an answer.

Why would Snape do this? He used an unforgivable curse, and if James couldn't fight it, there was no going back. He would be in the middle forever. Trying to fight it off. Snape surely placed the curse pretty well, maybe not as strongly, but definitely correctly. I couldn't accept this. I couldn't see the strong James I knew, to suffer like this. I turned around, grabbed his hand, and laced his fingers between mine for good measure. I pulled him out of the common room, down towards an empty classroom, but he stopped halfway there in a hall, and let go of my hand. He looked so desperately not in control.

I foolishly didn't check if there was anyone near, but just started my plan, seeing as he was getting worse.

"Okay, listen. Think of any happy memory you have, and please cast a Patronus," I said sweetly, looking at him sadly.

He hesitantly stared at me, and soon pointed his wand up and said

"Expecto Patronus."

I immediately pulled out my own wand and repeated his action. The stag and the doe were both soon gliding around the hallways, as James was staring in awe, and I was staring at him. I needed to act quickly.

"James," I said, looking into his hazel eyes full of different emotions.

I knew what I had to do, and I've been thinking of what it would feel like to do this for a while, so I started by focusing on his eyes.

We were chest to chest, and he didn't snap yet, I might just get there. I was leaning in when suddenly, he pushed me away lightly. I felt tears forming in my eyes, and that was his last straw. Seeing me tear up.

Seeing himself hurt me purposely.

That was the end.

That was when he broke through.

I saw his eyes snap back onto mine, and soon, something amazing happened. He pulled me towards him, and crashed his lips onto mine, pulling my legs around his waist, holding me safely, and more warmly than ever before. I felt a thousand different emotions at once. I felt him regain his life and confidence back. I suddenly burst into a smile, and we pulled away, but he continued holding me up, as I threw myself around him. We were both crying and he was soon apologizing the life out of him.

"I'm sorry Lily."

"I'm so sorry."

"I couldn't fight it."

"I'm so sorry."

This was what I heard for a few moments between our sobs, until he put me down, and hugged me even tighter.

"I'm so glad you're back," I said, sniffling.

"I wouldn't have known what to do without the sane you," I said truthfully.

"I didn't know what to do," I said.

"You were trying to fight it, and I could do nothing but watch." I continued explaining.

"I saw everything but from behind a curtain. As if I was a toy that someone was controlling," He said in thought.

"I thought I wasn't going to reach you," I choked up.

He gripped me even tighter and just held me in his arms for so long, I didn't even know.

"Let's go." He said pulling me towards the Gryffindor common room. We entered and we immediately went back into each other's arms, this time wrapped up is blanket on the couch, just lying in each other's arms and appreciating each other. I had my head in his chest as usual, and he was playing with my hair, but other than that, we didn't say anything.

We were both scared that if we uttered a single word, something would go wrong again, so we both soon fell asleep wrapped up in each other's arms which were the safest barriers possible.

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