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21- Mean

I made a conscious decision that I was going to forget about Lupin. It wasn't healthy and I was literally putting myself through torture overthinking every little encounter.
I was never that whipped for someone ever before so why would I start now?
I was young, 18, I should have been enjoying my life before it all went to shit.
Merlin knew it would all go to shit as soon as the war started, why was I wasting my time worrying about whether or not he liked me.
I decided I didn't care whether or not he liked me anymore, he wasn't worth the effort.

"Guys pick a number 1 or 2."

"Why?" Draco asked.

"What's 1 and what's 2?" Blaise asked.

"Never mind what they mean just pick one."

"1."

"2." They both said at the same time.

1 was Felix and 2 was Noah.
It might have been wrong that I was practically choosing them like a pick and mix bag of sweets or some shit but I didn't care. I needed a new focus. Something to keep my mind occupied.

"Well that was pointless."

"What is it even for anyway?"

I ignored them and called out to Harry.

"Pick a number 1 or 2."

"Why?" He asked suspiciously.

"For Merlin's sake why won't anyone just answer me, it's a very simple question 1 or 2."

"1."

We all turned to see Lupin had entered the classroom, he walked to the front to his desk.

"Sorry I'm late, I was held up with something."

I wanted to laugh at the irony of it. He picked for me. I was trying to get over him and it was like the universe gave me the push.He chose my choice for me. It was like he was urging me to leave him alone.
Felix it was then.
I'd have to find him, later.

He went on with lesson and I talked to Draco the whole way through, I didn't even look at him once. I was distracting myself. He didn't say anything. He was in a chill kind of mood, everyone was talking to each other here and there.

"I think I'm gonna talk to Felix."

"Have you spoken to him since you last slept with him?"

"No. How do I approach him?"

"Just go up to him."

"Yeah but like what do I say?"

"I dunno."

"What the fuck Draco, you're supposed to help me with these kind of things."

"I dunno. I don't speak to girls after sex I don't know what you're supposed to say."

"Blaise." I called out and he looked back at us.

"How do I approach Felix?"

"Go up to him in the common room."

"No I don't want to do it in front of everyone."

"Alright fine, when he's in the corridors then. Just walk with him."

"See. This is why I love you Blaise. You are useless." I said turning to Draco.

"Shut up."

After lesson finished I sort of loitered around the Arithmancy classroom. He walked out with this Ravenclaw boy and as soon as he saw me he looked kind of confused. He said his goodbyes to his friend and walked up to me smiling.