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09- Bets

4 January

Christmas break was over and it was time to go back to Hogwarts. Me and Nadir both went to King's cross together and we both waited at Platform 9 3/4 for our friends to come. As soon as I spotted the familiar platinum hair I said bye to Nadir and made my way over. I practically threw myself on him and he stumbled back a bit.

"Alright Avery?"

"You have no idea how much I've missed you." I said sighing into his shoulder.

He chuckled and I could feel his chest vibrate against me, "Can't have been that bad."

"I was sober for two full weeks without you or Blaise there to at least entertain me. Trust me it was that bad."

"Mine wasn't any better either."

"We're not even back yet and you both can't  keep your hands off each other."

We let go and saw Blaise standing there smirking. I did the same and gave him a massive hug too. Unlike Draco, he groaned in disgust. "Stop get off."

It was hell without them, I was so relieved to be back. Being at home was like constantly being on eggshells. I was always terrified of saying the wrong thing.

We got on the train and caught up on what our holidays were like and before we knew it we were back at Hogwarts. We went straight to our dorms to unpack our things and then to the Great Hall and waited for the feast to begin.
It was comforting being back. The chatter of students, the candles, the corridors, even Crabbe and Goyle's mind numbing conversations were comforting. But Draco had been right on that first ride back home, things weren't going to be the same. We were graduating and soon we were going to leave.

There was a war coming and even though Hogwarts still had that comforting feeling, it wasn't the same. The food started coming out and I didn't feel like eating, I told Draco and Blaise I was going to bed early and that I was tired from all the travelling they nodded and let me go. I went back to my dorm and picked up the drugs stash hidden in the drawers I had left it in. No one would find it, I enchanted the draws to conceal it. I put it in my robe pockets and made my way to the astronomy tower.

I needed air.

I had been feeling suffocated for two weeks straight and I really needed a release.
I lit it and took a drag.

There was a war coming.

I needed to get an O in Defence Against the Dark Arts, but what was the point I couldn't be an auror anyway they'd never allow me, I'd have to work at the Ministry or I'd just have to stick with grandad. No I didn't want to just not work at all, everything everyone thought would be true then, I'd just be a spoilt rich girl who had everything handed to her on a plate. Who cared about grades actually, who knew if I was even going to make it out of Hogwarts alive.

There was a war coming.

If I was a blood traitor where would I go?
Kayla got let off easy uncle Sami was soft.
I had no where to go and he wouldn't be so soft he'd crucio me or straight up kill me.
I remembered the conversation with my grandad.

"I won't lose you to the same fate."

I couldn't let him down, that'd be one other person I'd disappoint. Hermione's a mudblood though, they'd kill her.
Mum almost died because of me.

I was already a shit daughter. Who cared what they thought of me? Mum was a shit mum too, not like she was a fucking angel.

Why did I still care about being a good daughter? They weren't good parents.